Acoustic Lazyland

by Brandon Edge

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Released 8/24/11
Approx Running Time: 73:14
Tracks 23-28 are bonus tracks I rounded up from the DVD-R backup for this album, that were kind of not-done, but I felt done enough to put here. Maybe not, but what's done is done!

This is an interesting excursion into the land of lazy [that was actually a fair amount of work], made while I was living in what could be described as a large closet, at this really weird musician/artist/wacko hive called The Compound in 2011. Armed with a few different acoustics I borrowed from random ppl that were around, I quickly wrote a bunch of songs and recorded them in my room. It was either that or get an actual job.


released August 24, 2011


written/performed/recorded by brandon edge
jul 16 - aug 24 2011 at the hole, austin tx

thanks to one of my roommates named bonnie [i think!] for letting me use her guitar on a lot of these songs. actually that was probably the reason i started making the album, cause at that time i had no acoustic and she let me borrow hers and i really liked playing it. don't know who she is or where she is now!



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Brandon Edge Texas

Austin, TX-based songwriter. 30 albums avail. on bandcamp or elsewhere [youtube & mediafire]. All downloads are FREE or name- your-price! See my FB artist page [linked below] for full discog and links to almost all of my music [click the "about" tab then click "see more" under where it says "description"] ... more

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Track Name: 5 Dollar Footlong Baby
you want to know what's on my mind (religious lies)
you want to know what's on my mind (political lies)
you want to know what's on my mind (love lies)
you want to know what's on my mind (money lies)
i want to know what's on my mind (die)
i want to know what's on my mind (lies)
i want to know what's on my mind (sky)
i don't know what's on my mind, no i don't
(watch the demons fly)
i don't know what's on my mind, no i don't
(watch the semen fly)
no i don't, no i don't
(you wouldn't lie to an officer, you wouldn't lie to a priest)
know what's on my mind
(you wouldn't lie to your girlfriend, you wouldn't lie to a..)
sleazy ho, sleazy priest
everywhere i go i get the grease
(no i don't)
(no i don't)
i have no soul
(no i don't)
(no i don't)
5 dollar footlong baby
5 dollar footlong baby

5 dollar bill
ready to go, ready to pay

i don't know what's on my mind, no i don't
Track Name: On Off On
what's up with everyone
it's like seven days of rain today
goodbye to all my friends
so what, you don't exist today
favorite heartache, cherished regret please don't forsake me
you really have to thank me, for all i do for you
back down in austin town, we're lookin' mighty fine today
waiting for the bus looks fun, while you're frying in the sun today
cable splicing, ones and zeros know the way
it's never gonna be ok
can't you see it just as plain as day
it's never gonna be ok
Track Name: Favorite Car
i need to tell you something important
i wouldn't steer you wrong oh no
your junkyard days are over baby
what else is left to go wrong
you're my favorite car
and i'm an easy tire
i was made for what you are
love is a precious obligation
you can take any road you want
if you don't move it soon they'll surely be towing, baby
your brakes are shot but i'm sure you know where you're going
you're my favorite car
and i'm an easy tire
i was made for what you are
the trip will go much faster
with my unmistakable charm
my lies will feel sincere
because my dear i am a star
you think it lasts forever when the end is still too far
i'm a stupid liar
i was made for what you are
Track Name: In League with a Ghost
what you wanted to do is not important
for what you halt to break through is the persistence of time
altruisitc approach no doubt consorted
advantageous and faulty as hell
cause you won't desert all your pride and hurt
you won't make right what you cannot fight
you had the chance to decide yourself
and you won't
don't disrupt the balance of nature
don't disrupt the balance of time
no don't do that to me, the ruler of all spiritual things
i see in other dimensions and they give me instructions
to carry out the will of the gods
i see these other dimensions and it's making me suspicious
when i see all these people making motions with their hands and nodding at me
it's all very interesting and suspicious and crazy and
psychopathically introverted and disgustingly sincere
and polite and dear to my heart and such
i walk into the sun every day
yeah that's what i said
i walk into the sun every day
and i stole some time and i sold some time
to the past, and it's entertaining me, whenever i ask
try to keep your pants on
try to keep your face on
cause i won't do that to myself
disrupting the balance of all that is sacred, and holy
takes away all my time, and my choices are few
and my looks won't get me through
i'm in league with a ghost and it's all because of you
i'm in league with a ghost and it's all because of you
Track Name: Waste of Time
lots of things i do are a waste of time
like this song, like your life
lots of things i do are a waste of time
like this song, like your life
i really hate this world, it's true
i don't want to die too soon, alright
lots of things i do are a waste of time
like this car, like this country
lots of things i do are a waste of time
like this song, coming up with words for it
i really think it's a waste of time
i don't like to waste my time
but i have to write a song and you know the reason why
cause i miss you girl
i always want you in my life
but that's not really gonna happen
there's not too much chance of it happening anymore
i am a superwhore
slowing it down, gives you more time
to think up words to the song
this is a nice chord
i think i like it
i think i could just play this chord
this is a nice chord
i really like it
oh baby, why you treat me so bad
so bad
so bad
Track Name: Fuck the World
every time i think i'm safe
take my chances, play the game
my fate is sealed in the end
chance is relative, go back home or stay the course
being a loser is just such a chore
drowning in a circular motion
fuck the world
fuck the world
i'll be alone every time
you'll be alone too [it's alright]
very astute your take on me
you wanna see me burn in the 3rd degree
but it's your turn to BURN IN HELL
i'm setting fire to your car
now i know that you won't get far
life's a bitch and then you die
fuck the world
Track Name: Send Me to the Moon
send me to the moon
so fare thee well goodbye
send me to the moon
i don't want to live here no more
i don't want to live on this planet no more
you got that right
i'm leaving tonight
i'm out of sight
i'm feelin, feelin alright
i'm doin' fine, now that i'm leaving this place
it's such a disgrace, just look at my face
Track Name: Fine with Me
all i want is your compassion
if i were to strain be it not the action
pressed up to the window of your tenement
pensive with a touch of hope's descent
i'd lay my hands to the straps on your shoulders
and gently your face if i felt a bit bolder
this perfect picture to be one
your eyes upon me weigh a ton
without a word or even a movement, you've won
give me your blood, give me your light
give me your heart, in black and white
drain me of colors that force doubt upon
myself and others once faithful and strong
insipidly beautiful words imparted fire to felicity
monstrosities of paranormal bombast approach the gates of time to hiss at me
the depositional despondance of hapless wings flap over my home
blurring the senses, dissolving defenses
as the caretakers surround our collective bed of pretenses

i long to feel your artistry in respiration's endless need
consoling me in my desperation, convincing me to breathe
to pander evermore unto the lull of pleasure fleeting
and pass lucid prospects over, exiting defeated
to willingly accept the harping disconnect i sew
and teach myself to ignore the respect and love i'll never know

i'll write these pieces of lead for all
til summer's curtain comes to call
with greece's finest god of wine
i pluck my harp in hell's divine
chapel of the indolence maligned
to return this instant, my personal assistant
go lightly upon the magnetic distance
and unto the promissory foyer of solemnity mine
but you know not the ways in thy heavenly daze
an err to wise and a sin to despise
delineated growth spurt welcome mat placeholder eyes
writing inviting executive disorders
holding pattern spirituality of the polling, rolling murders
in ghastly mass of asterisks past
gleams a pious virtuosity in ersatz wealth remittance polemics masks

love and hate, pleasure and pain
it's as plain to see as a burning plane
believe in god because you're bored
if you speak up you shall be ignored
so stay with me and i'll be your guide
have fun today, pull me aside
retread our thoughts, believe to decide
maybe we ain't got nothin to hide

i took a shot at my dream and it wound up dead
maybe someone should just stab me in the head
i won't help your grievance bearing down on me
hapless in its entirety
raising the stakes for the common good
when the police come, it will hide neath the rotting wood
i'm not a catfish, but i've traveled the land and sea
i'm not that selfish
you can have anything, it's fine with me
these lilies are pure evil
see how they lean
intentions deceit-filled, just what have they seen
i stab your facade, an attempt on your pain
laid the crab and the cod right in front of the train
over land and sea, through the waters we divide
for the ocean is deep and the river is wide
i'm on your side if you let me inside
what do i have to hide
accursed fear, foolish pride
remarks have torn, rather snide
mountains crumble, worlds collide
earthquakes rumble, birdies glide
the faithful mumble, in priests confide
feeling lost, need some sort of guide
astronomical cost, spaceship give me a ride
go away go away go away from me peasants
mainline demonic plasma and drain the flourescence
Track Name: A Step Up
it's a step up from screaming with no meaning
and i was singing
just a step up from bleeding my heart to a stranger
and so it goes, a waking peace
a slumber filled with the deceased
nine centuries of los angeles
strewn debris, it all comes to me
my sympathy becomes fat with greed
i'll pay you back when i get some

pine trees
arrows and leaves
my disease will be contracted by touch
god knows i don't ask for much

it's deception, the malice in the chalice
the crystal palace
the patter of the chatter
it all shatters at the right frequency
it's a step up from crawling and failing almost completely
it's a step up from death i know
but that don't make it right
don't make me want to go along with you
along with you and all the shit you pull
Track Name: Get a Dog Up Ya
oh baby i'm so depressed
i haven't sinned but i need to confess
i see your face in the waterfall
you are all i'm thinking of now
cause lately i've been so stressed
i've got some things to get off my chest
to keep pace with the lemming hordes
i need to score, i want you so much

they left me in a ditch
when people suck, life's a bitch
so get fucked, pull me dick
and get a dog up ya

i stop to watch my back expecting someone to attack
i can't escape the memory of everything they did for me

tall buildings that stand alone
like a king tied to the throne
choke on the prejudice
there's only chance, and it doesn't give a damn

they left me in a ditch
when people suck, life's a bitch
so get fucked, pull me dick
and get a dog, get that dog

count your fuckin blessings
hear the spoken principalities
may you find a hard place in the rock of sincerity
unexplained asterisks risk reward
call me back, beg for more
slowly stray the narrow path
murder a man who once taught you math
it's ok, you see, can't remember a thing
you teach, breach space, face, contract
i'm back on track, cut me some slack
let us now join hands and sing
the apple fell so far from the tree
signified obliquely parting the sea
over and out, meaning without divine intrinsic value judgement sine wave parcel post handstamp
oh where for art thou now?
have i completely lost it? are you ever gonna come back and make me whole again?
what is real? what is false? what is the reality of falsification intertwined in our subconscience ornament shrine-plague?
don't ask me, i just work here
where is the proverbial muse to bemuse
who'd use me to convince you that i'm being abused
mercurial in partial remittance, implicit, meant in fingerprints
grown high and wide, unyielding to the blind eyesight
over ground, under ground, playing the field from both sides
overheard: it pays to be absurd
dense in dents, necessarily invented splints
too much light in the ever-present night
gotta shut it down, gotta shut you down, alright?
just go home, man, i need not listen now
we heard this shit before the spark was lit
so like, ciao
Track Name: What Do You Think About That
what do you think about that
let's walk to the park and sit on a bench
bulid a machine to solve the world's problems
with a monkey wrench
let's rob from the rich and steal from the poor
when you think you've had enough we'll steal some more
we'll go to a foreign country and plant a flag that
what do you think about that
great men don't just appear out of nowhere
they're special and they carry some weight
really important people like you and me
should get together and go out on a date
hell freezes over and the sky turns red
when the sun comes up we'll both be dead
saturn has rings, mcdonald's has fries
here's your consolation prize
what do you think about that
ventilation shafts can be traversed by a human being
we can have our cake and eat it too, don't ya think
presidents and kings and levitating hindi's
all sing the praise they all recommend these
particular pants, they like the way they feel
i feel like an 8 year old behind the wheel
of a car, like a czar, like a man who wants to know
what do you think about that
hair will grow it has a mind of its own
rent a car sail a boat do you think fucking i care
present me with plans and we'll go wherever
i don't need a map, just a report on the weather
questions and queries, eyes that are teary
yellowjackets chasing us through a clearing
the bears will growl, the lions will roar
just beware of the wild boar
what do you think about that
Track Name: Detective Moron
i play guitar like a moron
i robbed a bank like a fucking moron
i solved a crime like a moron
and when only morons can solve crimes
it's a sad state of affairs
i will take you there to the scene of the crime
one time i solved a crime, it was easy
cause i didn't use my brain
i'm a moron and i am completely and utterly insane
look into my eyes pretty baby
i love you so
and now it's time to say goodbye to the life you once knew
i'm gonna take you to a special place
where they keep all the pretty people who never know what's right
they always fight their instincts, they always go the wrong way
just like you did, my love
but now i'm here for you
and it's all going to be rectified in an instant
i'll get the leeches off your back
and i'll save you from your life of solitude
i robbed a bank like a moron but i'll never get caught
i solved more crimes than i commit
they won't catch me cause i'm much too smart
i don't think in ordinary terms
i'm a moron
i'm a moron
Track Name: 9mm Payback
i don't wanna hear shit, i know you stole my money
you're about to get shot with a mf'in uzi
gonna be dead, i'll put you right down in the ground
then i'm gonna take your car, and i'm a drive around town
gonna drive around
9mm payback son of a bitch
gonna put your ass in the mf'in ditch
drive around yeah, drive around
oh it's been a long time since i felt this way
when god looks down on me tonight
he's gonna see a man with a lot to say
i got a lot to say
oh you know it's true, i'm gay (what?)
i robbed a bank (uh huh)
i fucked your girlfriend (oh yeah)
i smoke pot (yeah..)
and i've done some cocaine too
i like to lick on dudes
in places where you wouldn't normally expect
ah but that don't matter you see
cause you stole my money
and there's only one punishment for that (9mm payback)
gonna get my fuckin gat
gonna shoot you in the head
gonna put you in the ground
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
i don't wanna hear shit, i know you stole my money
you're about to get shot with a mf'in uzi
gonna be dead, i'll put you right down in the ground
then i'm gonna take your car, and i'm a drive around town
gonna drive around
9mm payback son of a bitch
gonna put your ass in the mf'in ditch
drive around yeah, drive around
gonna put ya ass down, ass down yeah
Track Name: The Cops Are Hot Tonight
the cops are hot tonight
the cops are gonna make everything alright
and they're not gonna take any prisoners
kickin ass
shootin guns (shoot shoot)
puttin the cuffs on (clickity click)
and then i hit you in the head with a club (ohh)
yeah, i drive real fast
yeah, i kick some ass
yeah, i'm gonna kick your ass to the curb, you little twerp
cops, i'm a member of the cops
it's a little group and we like our authority
it's kept within its limits (do me now)
we like to put em down
take big piles of drugs and snort em up
yeah the cops are hot tonight (snort the drugs)
my nuts are big and ready to pop
oh baby check out my pants (i'm a mf'in cop)
the nuts are gettin ready to burst
my name is willie, and i am a cop
if you don't wanna go to jail why don't you suck
i am a cop (can i nut you)
i am a really good cop (wanna nut)
i like to shoot and i like to fuck (i like to nut)
ah there's nothin wrong with that (i need to nuuuuuttt)
16 rounds in my clip, gonna get it on tonight
everything's gonna be alright
cops, a member of the cops
i like cock, i like puss
i like drum machines
i like drugs (drugs are good)
i like plants (plants are good)
drugs come from plants don't you know (so does oxygen)
when i get it on with a ho
i get all the evidence to the hotel room (plz don't take me to jail)
i got it off some drug dealin dude
i beat him down with a gat (i'll suck it real good)
i went and got it on with a little ho (yes he did)
and she was a very fine ho, yeah (yeah!)
my nuts are hot tonight (yeah)
you better not get in my way
get out of my face
ready to shoot, ready to shoot my guns
cop shoot gun ass ho drugs snap crackle
Track Name: Talent Scout
talent scout
talent scout
talent scout
i hate you
i hate you
you know it's true
i hate you, you know it's true
somebody call the fire department, oh no
talent scout...
i love you, yes i do
i love you, you know that it's true
talent scout
talent scout
Track Name: Pocket Pie/Lose the Rock
the view is sublime
from the cabin of my blimp
now feed my ego, lesbian pimp
i'm drawn to heat
i retreat from fire
i'm laid like the street
inflated like a tire
i'm gray and unassuming
allow motion to pass
don't be unfair or i'll kick yr ass

don't spare the whip on the horse of pain
give me all your lovin straight to my fucking vein
hell is for the sinners and heaven is for me
the pie is my salvation won't you listen carefully
i need it, i want it, and i'll have it soon
the night is falling rapidly, i'm howling at the moon
it's the party of a lifetime, up in the sky
we have oxygen a plenty but for you it's time to die
that depends that depends that depends on what's wrong

so give me sth to lose the rock rhythm
but i don't wanna take the chance of it
give me sth to lose the rock rhythm
not a chance

in lieu of something to do, i propose a proposition, to you
you can be mine and give me some time and fuck whoever you want, i don't need you to toe the line i just want to love you girl
cause i know you're quite a lovely gal
it doesn't mean we can't be pals
stay indoors write beautiful songs
teach the little trolls their right from wrong
brutality is an atrocity
i just wanna get along
how much is this phone call costing me
i think it's time we get it on
take me to the town center
we'll ride up off the ground
if i should be your intern
you know i will go down

the living and the dead share common threads
we fail as we flail into the neverending red
this country is bankrupt and so is my soul
heed the words i say cause i'm about to take control
of the world as it is in a sorry state
of crime and destitution and other interesting traits
the cart is full, the line is long
make your final selections and i'll sing you one last song
and the plans and the plans and the plans will get drawn

give me sth to lose the rock rhythm
but i don't wanna take the chance of it
give me sth to lose the rock rhythm

when i was child they made it seem so important
but we are not worthy to be loved
so i could not believe my ideas have worth of their own
the domination of descent
the emptiness of self-fulfillment
a single tree on a hill top bent
the work of our hands
a beautiful wasteland
a galaxial spiral of meaning
morality is curious to me
i'm very curious you see

pocket pie
i want the pocket pie
it's all i ask you for
you're rich and i am poor
so help a brother out
and make your country pround
it looks quite tasty
and i must say you owe me one
Track Name: (Don't Tell Me) What to Do
people don't tell me what to do
people don't tell me who to screw
you can't make me do what's right for me and my life
you can't tell me just what's right for me oh no
you can make a suggestion but i'm not required to follow or explain myself
you can make a suggestion but don't count on me reciprocatin'
people don't tell me what to do
i do what the fuck i want all day mr bunghole
that's about where i get off, lemme tell you a story
i was workin in this job and it sucked so i burned the place down
and i didn't give a damn and i never will
i committed arson a thousand times or more
it makes me sleep better at night knowing i was the cause of financial ruin
give me more and they take less
doesn't take a genius
to see the plan that i have for the world
less is more love is hate feel the burn at hell's gate
finances can blow me, it's not my problem see
they told me i was gonna have to appear before a jury
i don't care i burned the courthouse down
now i'm on my way to another town
virtuous and true, silencing all the fools that stand in my way
i'm the real rock and roll rebel, man
you just don't get it
Track Name: 1,000 Reasons
this is a song
it has chords
i'm really bored
i like whores
what's the score
of the game
it's the price of fame
it will drive you insane
don't look at me in that tone of voice, baby
don't look at me with that scrutiny that i see in your eyes
cause i got multiple reasons to say the things i do
this is a world
it has places, it has faces
it has currency systems and banks
it has places, it has faces
it has lots and lots of banks
don't you look at me in that tone of voice, baby yeah
ahh with that scrutiny that's so plain to see, oh baby
don't you know that i love you so
i've got multiple reasons to say all these things
1,000 reasons to say the things i do
Track Name: I Blew It
once i had a chance, and i blew it
once i held your hand, and i knew it
once i was a man, ah screw it
give me back my time
it's impossible, we can't do that
no, can't do that, can't go back
we can't make it right
we can't do what you ask
you're gonna have to let go of the past
oh i blew it
look into my eyes, there is nothing left to see
you've taken all of me and there's nothing left
behind this blank expression of pain
i'm insane
oh my god help me
no no no
it's all gone terribly wrong
it's a terrible tragedy for you to consider
god oh god no
somebody shoot me now
once i had a chance, and i blew it
once i held your hand, i fuckin knew it
once i was a man, now i'm just a shell
once i was a man, but now i currently reside in
Track Name: I Feel for You
i feel for you, and everyone who wears their heart on their sleeve
all the ones who believe
and all that it takes, is every ounce of strength
to fend off the evil and the lame
oh, what is happening
oh, what is happening to this world
in my blame, you know i care
and i've been to hell
i remember well
it burned me all those times i was alone
god save the fools who hold out hope for what they know
is never coming back
oh yeah, never give in
oh, and i'll never win
it's a point i have to make
and no one can take my place
it's all that i can take
there'll come a day
when i'll go away
and i won't be waiting for you anymore
i still remember how you smiled
and everything you said to me
everything you said to me
Track Name: I Pee a Lot
i pee a lot, i pee a lot
and it's causing problems
i pee a lot, i pee a lot
and it's causing problems in my life
will you help me with my problems
will you help me work it out, work it out
i can't work out the details, involved in
getting it all to dry up
it won't dry, it won't dry, it won't dry up
ground's too shallow, there's too much rock
the pee won't dry up
oh won't you help me
oh god, it's embarrassing, now
when i have people come to my door
they all see the pee and it's causing a scene
would you like to help me
would you like to help me
help me oh won't you help me oh no
Track Name: Things That Are Bad
in silence we dream
and draw others to our side
in silence we live our lives for all time
we don't say what we feel
we don't do what is real
and we steal our feelings
and we hold them for ransom
til we get some more feelings
that weren't really ours to begin with, don't you see
it's not interesting at all
it's actually quite depressing
and it's not right to question the nature of our souls
in fact it's bad to do that
don't you think we ought to stop doin'
things that are bad
we should stop doing things that are bad
we should stop
we should stop doing things that are bad
Track Name: I Want to Have Sex with TV Chicks
i want to have sex with tv chicks who are all older than me
i'll get back to you in a little while cause i've gotta finish that list
you know it'll be extensive
i've got a few in my head but i'm not gonna go there
until i finish that list
Track Name: She Has a Strange Effect
she has a strange effect on me
when she walks into the room i feel a pang of gloom
i'm not sure just why that is but i know it's all to do with
things that happened in the past
things i can't forget
i can't forget the way she acted when i told her how i felt
it really fucked me up
now i can't believe in anything
she has a strange effect on me
i don't want to be that person who whines all the time
but i am
Track Name: Tried Your Best
you tried your best and you failed the test
you're gonna have to answer to me
you tried your best and to no success
i think that's what i mean
and i know you can't believe everything that you see
but believe you me it's gonna get messy
when i reclaim what's rightfully mine
oh i'll get it in time
you failed to be what you said you were
you took advantage of my good faith
your ass is mine, and i'll drop the dime
i'll put your stupid ass in its place
you know i will
heed this advice, i won't ask you twice
everybody knows that you can't be trusted to heed this advice
i'm not gonna tell you twice, you can't be trusted
to do anything right
do anything right, no
Track Name: Charm the Pants
Track Name: Drag Those Demons Down
dance and sing, i wanna make the scene
gonna drive them demons down
prance around, baby paint the town
i wanna get around
whoa shake em down, oh baby shake em down
oh shit naw, oh fuck yea
it's getting serious, i'm really serious
i'm getting serious, i swear it
i swear it to you
shake the scene, make the scene
drag those demons underground
drag em down
and i'll tell you what i'll tell them
and i'll tell you what i told them
oh baby i told em lots of shit
Track Name: A Brief Outline of My Pathetic Existence