by Brandon Edge

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a whole crapton of stuff from 2012-2013. approx 4hrs 30min to be almost exact. i'll put more info here when i have the energy.

thanks to certain ppl whose lyrics i used on some songs [cam, amanda, kristin, frosty, mercy, carrie, and verta]


released October 13, 2013



all rights reserved


Brandon Edge Texas

Austin, TX-based songwriter. 30 albums avail. on bandcamp or elsewhere [youtube & mediafire]. All downloads are FREE or name- your-price! See my FB artist page [linked below] for full discog and links to almost all of my music [click the "about" tab then click "see more" under where it says "description"] ... more

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Track Name: Under Control
Track Name: The Goose
[lyrics by Cameron [user 'ufomammut' on message board. lyrics in []'s by me]

Walking down Cabildo,
Looking for a cash machine.
Why do all these greasy bitches,
Keep on staring right at me?
Fuck yourself, you tracksuit clown.
Fuck your haircut, fuck your frown.
You're looking at my streak of hair?
You can die, for all I care.
I'm texting as I cross the street.
Gangster skills of the elite.
Textual entry of the sexual gentry,
Checking Google Maps and shit.
Posting on the board while I'm abroad, this is my specialty.
These shifty creeps ain't worth a shit
Pierced lips, official football kits.
I'm paranoid as fuck, you see.
The Goose has put the fear in me.

[can't get away, try to cross the street, i'm a gangsta elite, google maps
google maps yeah, it's really gangsta, fuck you you stupid bitch, i'm a man who cares, i get what i want in the end, feed me, give me sex, give me drugs, give me a break]

Any and all classism implicit in the lyrics provided is merely an ironic expression of the extreme degree of caution instilled in me by contacts.
Track Name: Take a Chance (On Me!)
tell me what you feel, i want to make a deal
so you think you're cute, i play the fucking flute
i have had a few beers
i am a good guitar player, but you wouldn't know by this song
oh baby won't you please give your love to me
come down to my town and watch me make a fool out of myself
take a chance on me!
Track Name: Words on the Screen
this is the 4th song i've done w/ lyrics by Verta [smashing pumpkins message board user TalkingHead]. the other 3 ["pleasure seizure" "plastic" and "disco of the dead"] are avail. on the album Pleasure Seizure.

so verta sent me some lyrics and i took too long to do the song. she reminded me of this around 8/25/12 so i dug up a really old guitar idea from 2001, added stuff to it...and i'd had a similar idea for a song a long time ago, the title being 'words on the screen' so i made that the title and messed w/ her lyrics a bit...

[Lyrics Verta sent me:]
I've seen you through the brightness
And watched you in my dreams
I've tried so hard to fight this
But you're there on the screen
I think about your soft skin
I dream about your jeans
I tried to ignore my sin
But you're there on the screen
So give me all you got, give me a little fix
Get off the internet and get onto my dick
I look into your blue eyes or maybe they are green
I want you in my life
But you're there on the screen
I wish you'd hold my hand and know just what I mean
I could be your man
If you'd just get off my screen
So give me all you got, give me a little fix
Get off the internet and get onto my dick
Baby, make me real (I'll make you real)
Baby, help me feel (I'll make you real)

Lyrics after I fucked with em:
I see you through the darkness
I watch you in my dreams
I try so hard to fight this, but you're always on the screen
I think about your soft skin, I laugh about your gleam
I try to ignore my sin, but you're always on the screen
So give me all you got, or just a little fix
Get off the internet, get on my dick
I gaze into blue eyes, I don't know maybe they're green
I want you in my life, but you're just words on the screen
I wish you'd hold my hand, and know what I mean
I could be your man, but I'm just words on the screen
Give me all you got, and try to accept the nut
Get off the internet, get on get on my butt
You make me real, baby, help me feel
Track Name: Barely
Track Name: Check Me Out
you see yourself in the distant glass, you see yourself in the distant past
the axe that falls on the head of state, you need my help, pray it's not too late
to act upon your visions of the dawn
to act upon in reservation all the times you've caught my face
and you walk around telling me all about...
the end is near for me to ascertain
Track Name: The Aliens
they're coming for me, they're gonna take me away
i don't wanna go to outer space
the aliens, they wanna do things to me
(change my life)
i like my life as it is
(change my life)
get the fuck away!
(change my life, i want your lovin' tonight, i wanna get it on on a spaceship)
stop this insanity
Track Name: Dudes
everywhere i look there's dudes, dudes
they wanna get inside, of me
that's not gonna happen, oh no
there's dudes on the corner, dudes at my door
a dandy-fine asshole's what they want to score
dudes on the ceiling, dudes on the floor
i've had all i can take and i can't take no more
maybe you can tell me why i need to get inside you
i'm inside you every day
make you can tell me why they wanna get inside me
i guess they must think i'm gay
Track Name: Horsey
[horseys don't talk!]
Track Name: A Fine Gentleman from Wisconsin
gonna get it on whether it's right or wrong
he's a fine gentleman to do business with
he's a fine gentleman from wisconsin
that's where he's from, i like to cum
from here to wisconsin that's a long way to shoot
i like a man that's gentle, adamant and sentimental
with integration of robotics preferably
there's a suburban, no gentleman from wisconsin insde
only one from nebraska, or possibly a bitch
from nebraska they ride, wisconsin gentleman is always on your side
he's a fine gentleman from wisconsin...
pump that dick
Track Name: Catch the Nerves
diagnosis maintains i have a monkey brain
compromise the catholics, forbidden teens, oh
projecting module intervenes next to an assembly
next to an assembly of my faith that i display, yeah yeah
oh yeah, it's so gracious, it's so spacious
i really think you should occupy my...
my incentives, my incentives
catch the nerves, i don't tell...
listless track defining, ameliorate the binding, oh oh
catch the nerves, i don't tell...
hence the name of my outer shame
hence the blame i have for you baby
heaven is defined in full when heaven is defined in full
our inferior errant tomorrow, our inferior errant sorrow
call the vet, call the vet, i need a veterinarian
cold cold hands touching my penis
heaven is defined in full when heaven is defined in full
my incentives...socket, socket my socket socket, my
cervix is bouncing, cervix is bouncing bouncing
i'm gonna crouch in the corner and wait for thee
oh, it's really interesting, oh oh oh oh oh oh
vanishing orthopedic surgeons, i can't find 'em anywhere
vanishing people everywhere, everything's really gettin' fucked up now
really fucked up now
prolonged exposure to my philosophy will make you a total smartie
prolonged exposure to my dick will make you want to take a lick
psychotic, psychotic, i'm fucking psychotic...
i am a motherfucking genius...[lick my nuts]
stolen my thunder...
keep the crystal steady, no you don't you little bastard
diagnosis maintains i have a monkey brain
catch the nerves, i don't tell (i don't tell)
my incentives...(are all i can see)
i want to love you, uh huh, i love everyone, uh huh, yeah
that's true that's true i really like to screw
oh yes, i love you
Track Name: Calla's Butt
here's what i attempted to sing [obviously my german pronunciation sux]

sie ist eine schöne Hündin, die ich brauche, um zu schrauben. notieren Sie die Zeit und Ort dieser denn ich bin ausblenden der Existenz
täglich auftreten können. Ich muss einige Mittel zu erwerben, um die Transaktion mit Sophia zu vervollständigen. für den Hintern berühren
den Hintern berühren muss beginnen und ich finde es schwierig und ich möchte mein Leben bald zu Ende

Sie müssen Geld haben, wenn Sie den Kolben anfassen

...which was google translated from...

she's a beautiful bitch who i need to screw. note the time and place this may occur for i am fading out of existence daily. i need to acquire some funds to complete the transaction with sophia. for the butt touch the butt touch must commence and i find it difficult and i want to end my life soon. you gotta have money if you wanna touch calla's butt [or sth like that]
Track Name: Tit Sweat Serenade
commissioned by amanda [ on smashing pumpkins message board. aka "AL"]. most of the words are taken from the thread where it was commissioned.
this is a key for who wrote what [obviously anything else you might hear was made up by me]:
a=amanda, k=kristin, f=frosty

f=i hate when men have flat butts. i don't want a full butt. just a nice one.
k=Flat butts are sad.
a=Shut up Kristin!!!
k=You've got a little butt., and don't worry, everyone's looking at your boobs anyway. IF I COULD GIVE YOU SOME OF MINE YOU KNOW I WOULD.
Alex asked for some of my butt the other day, luckily I got plenty for you both
a=My boobs are covered in rashes with all the humidity down here. Actually, all the parts my bra rests on. And my arthritis is acting up. And ants are walking on my arms as I type. I live in a fucking jungle. Help
f=does baby powder help if you put that on your chest?
a=Using cornstarch powder right now. I sweat a lot and the humidity here is like 95% or something. Like breathing in soup. Wearing a bra is both productive and counterproductive. I need the lift otherwise I'd accumulate a stream of boob sweat under my boobs and wearing them all the time makes them suffocate so they aren't breathing. I need to get a good 4-part 100% cotton bra so they aren't smothered by nylon/spandex all the time, but I have to look around for something that provides the support in cotton. First world boob problems, guys. I hope Brandon writes a song about my sweaty boobs. They're droopy with sadness these days.
Track Name: Tea and A
commissioned by Mercy, aug 22, 2012
lyrics printed are by Mercy [anything else is added by me]:

tea and a tea and a
baby lets have it my way
wanna get crazy wanna get laid
let's make super sex today
the end
hmm i should expand on that
tea and a, i'm dying for more
tea and a, yous a dirty whore
why not make some tea, honey, you got some tea for me honey
dont be so slow i'm ready fo mo, baby tea and a is how i roll
i'm done b.
that's all i've got
hahaha do it no?
i'll be back in five
Track Name: Find the Doctor!
find the doctor
find him find him!
[adam/scorpiopulse: fuck it fuck it fuck it!]
Track Name: Watch This
[feat. voice samples of kelsome]

watch this, duh duh duh duh duh
how mad do you think brandon would be if i jerk off
right now
well you know what? i think he can suck it!
watch it...
what do i think about that?
i think he can suck it
uh, ok?
watch jis, d-d-d-d-duh?
Track Name: Closest Friend
silence yourself while i prepare the flare
i'm going to engage my drive
silence yourself while i prepare to die
i'm going to clear a path for us to be consumed by light
consumed by life, consumed by the night
and i will forever count you as my friend
i will forever count you as my closest friend
my friend til the end...
i love you so much, i do, i want you to screw me 10,000 times
hey sweet darling....fuck me
hey sweet darling...won't you SUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEE
Track Name: Stop Fucking with Me
there's no hope for us...there's no one to trust
there's no hope for us
stop fucking with me, there's nothing to feel...
but pain
there's nothing to feel but shame
nothing to feel, there's no one to turn to, to talk to
there's absolutely nothing left for me to get out of bed for
there's nothing to do, there's nothing to say
there's no way for me to communicate my shame and sorrow and pain
it's all a big fruitless game, time to die
Track Name: An Honest Man
he was a silly kid, an honest man he wasn't
learned all the wrong lessons, they say time heals, it doesn't
you had a chance to make it right, you missed it
now the sins of the father upon the son are revisited
warm was the light of your eyes before it dimmed
now begs the cold, aching doom to let me in
healed by her spittle soft, an hour for a minute
slow death, stomach acid dissolved, if there's a hell, i'm in it
you were as pure as the snow, may god forgive me
hope that i'm poison enough to take you with me
warm was the light in your eyes before it dimmed
now begs the cold, aching doom to let me in
Track Name: Cumslut
i've heard that you're a cumslut
well fiddle-dee-di, and fiddle-de-dee
i've heard that you're a cumslut
well that's alright, hey that's alright with me
Track Name: Don't Ask Me Where (Just Die)
don't ask me where (just die)
give me some head
Track Name: He Prolly Don't Care (I Hate My Phone)
[inspired by comments by carrie (shaman0)]

[center voice:]
i hate my phone, i hate my phone...

[left voice:]
nobody gonna give me what i need, everything is against me
i can't get where i need to go, everything's gone wrong aw don't you know
i'm tryin' to go to the austin town, tryin' to get down with a motherfuckin' gopher
i like someone but he probly don't care, and i hate this phone
i can't get where i'm tryin' to go, i just i just don't fuckin' know what the problem
what's goin' on, these people always givin' me shit
tryin' to get along in this world of shit, cause shit rhymes with shit
know what i'm talkin' about, yeah, diamonds in my fuckin' teeth yo
gimme some props, gimme some fuckin' props, mothafucka, yeah
i'm OG and i'm ready, i'm down, i'm always down, been down from day 1, bitch
i could tell you somethin' that you've never even heard before
cotton candy: stick it up my cooter
give me what i need, i've gotta get somethin', it's very very important that i be served
gotta get what i need, gotta write words, i refuse to write actual words
do you understand what i'm talkin' about, can't see my hand as it moves
it's always gonna groove, i feel the power of the rhythm, yo
now get inside me, and tell me what you know, it's really good
it's really bad

[right voice:]
gimme that candy, that candy, gimme some fuckin' sugar
gimme some fuckin' sugarrrrr, street fight street fight gonna get it on
baby, street fight street fight suck on my fuckin' dong attagetitbadaba
my name is carrie and i like to rap, i'm takin' ya down
not takin' no fuckin' crap, slap, japs, slappin' a jap, i'm slappin
i'm crappin', i'm singin' a song, come on come on look at me
i's really fuckin' serious, hey, is this a song, i really don't know
come on come on it's really good
make sure that i'm related to you, if i spelled that right
scroll scroll, scrollin' down, i'm viewin' all the posts, change the threshold
gonna get it on, gonna get a reply, gonna start a new topic and then i'm gonna make ya die
come on, lick my penis please, that's really really really good good good, yeah
i never say things that are dumb, never never never do it
i never do nothin' wrong, i'm fucking perfect
but i care about someone and he really don't care
no he don't care, he don't really care, no he doesn't really care
i'm talkin' to you as a man that cares, i like to stare
let me lick on the nipple one time, nipple nipple
nibble on the nipple, i'm gonna nibble on the fuckin' nip
nip-a-nip-a-nipple, nippa-nup, num numnunmnumnumn
tastes really good, tastes really fine, drinkin' that wine
takin' all your time, tyin' ya up with some twine, committing lots of crime
rar rar
Track Name: Cockface
i'll stick my cock in your face
Track Name: Dead Cowboy II (Pop Pop)
i killed a cowboy, i killed a cowboy, i killed a cowboy
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
dead cowboy, dead cowboy, dead cowboy
gotta put em in the ground before the pop pop...
gotta put em in the ground before they kill me
gotta put em in the ground before they get you
gotta put em in the ground before the pop pop!
Track Name: Whore (I'm the King of the World!)
drown in the public pool, drown in the public pool...
i have journeyed far, farther than you think is possible
to find my one and only, my one and only will protect me
from your deathly ways, and i'll see a better day
listen to the words that i say, yeah
hey, hey, hey, silence in the auditorium, so many ways
by force or by coercion i doth slay
i am the king of the world, world world world, the king of the world
tie yourself to the post, post post, i want to instruct you in the ways of the heavenly host
now i'm going to give you something that you never comprehended before
in your days as a fucking whore
Track Name: Lizardman
the lizardman was brought to trial, i come to tell you his story
they say he killed many men, i offer you his testimony
he say this is what i am, i have to stay alive you know this
i do no more than i can, the same as any man
i am not a murderer, i am an innocent
this is how god made me, and now you will get what is coming to you
he jumped as high as the ceiling, he crawled around like a lizard
and fell down upon their heads
he munched and he munched and he munched on the heads
in not very much time everyone who was there was dead
yeah, dead, the lizardman strikes again
i said dead, i dare not fuck with him
dead, the lizardman strikes again
dead, he do only what he must do
i cannot trust in the ways of the god who would put such a thing on this planet
he's evil, evil, oh no
i can't abide, oh my goodness, i can't believe this has happened
i pray day and night, hey, i pray that you will put an end to the suffering of my people
and put an end to the lizardman...once and for all
Track Name: Ocelot
[wrote these words for this but w/e]

ocelot to me you're rock and roll
now it's up to me to let you know
find the time to recognize that i can make split second decisions
between the sorrow and the joy i provide what i envision
to walk or run, recind your praise, your pleasantries abundant
when you reckon my connection like an
ocelot, to me it's all a game
and i've got the tools i need to be insane
why do we love
why do we fight
why do we live
why do we die
it's all a big conspiracy they're out to get me i can feel the eyes
burning holes in the sides of
and out on the plains, they keep their weapons and planes
it's just a matter of time before they find our actual names
and our history is a mystery...

[idk that's all i had]
Track Name: Merering
[merekat is a noun]
Track Name: Carousell
[mixing this was more annoying than it might seem. i'm still not really satisfied w/ it]
Track Name: The Lies Within Ourselves
[they're there. you're aware that their presence is sure to be present in your essence too.]
Track Name: Never Go Away
[never go away!]
Track Name: Can't Do It
["if practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?"] -James Iha]
Track Name: Centrifuge
[be careful with that centrifuge, eugene]
Track Name: Pinnacle
[getting to the pinnacle is one thing, staying there is another]
Track Name: Yeah Kinda Real Tired
[lyrics mostly by smashing pumpkins message board user "february" aka "fiction for anne", Will]

yeah i'm kinda real tired of that
the day has passed, been seeing a lot of old guys
wearing superhero t-shirts that are too small for them
it's equally disconcerting to me, i sound judgmental
but i think there's a girl in town that talks to me telepathically
everyone wants to be cool, so cool they don't move
tongue rings are lame, tongue rings are lame
i find it odd that a guy would have his tongue pierced anyway
i find it even odder that he seems so overly eager to get a girl out
just so she can experience his tongue ring
hunger overwhelms me, deliver our food you heartless bastards
i was just wondering today what drum machines you were using
i'm kinda tired, too tired to come up with a chord progression that doesn't suck...
it's like grand theft auto with galadriel, i'm going to call you
watch out i'm gonna call you now, i'm gonna call you down
the key of c minor will make you cream the key of c will make you cream
Track Name: Don't Piss on My Potato
don't piss on my potato
i really dont need this, dont you know
i dont want to live like this / i dont want to taste that piss
i dont want to live like this no more, oh
don't piss on my potato / dont write lists of things you dont know
don't piss on my potato, motherfucker / get out of my life, wont you please
release me from this hell that i live in / i dont want to live like this anymore
i really dont need this aggravation / i dont need all this piss
really dont really dont / dont need dont want dont need dont want
this piss that you flaunt / pissing on my imagination
pissing on my good will / you're pissing everywhere you go
just to try to prove some kind of point / you think you're a badass
you think you've got my ass / think you know things about my life
that you really dont know / you dont know jack shit x4
no you dont fuckin know a thing baby / you know you really dont know
you dont have a clue / don't piss on my potato, baby i really need it to survive
i gotta stay alive now / its important that you hear my words
when i'm speaking them to you / get it through your head i'm not gonna wind up dead
cause i'm not gonna get infected by your piss
i'm not gonna take this, i'm not gonna lie down and receive the judgment of god
he's not on my side, and neither are you / i dont need to hear
all these things that i do wrong / it's not wrong in my eyes
it's not the end that i surmise / the plan that i fulfill
has been laid down over the ages by the wise men in their cloaks
like a frog that croaks / froggy, i'm a frog
Track Name: Chop It Up
chop it up, chop it up, chop my life into a million pieces [x2]
na na na, gna gna gna gna, gna gna gna gna
i think you would [x2]
stick your dick anywhere i prescribe, stick your dick anywhere but my eye
stick your dick in a sleeve of silicone and mercury
it's not advisable i don't know what the fuck to do
i like you, i like you, i like to suck you, i wanna fuck
you you you you, you you you, you you you you, you you you
i wanna fuck, fuck, i want to fuck, you
you've probably heard about the ways that i like to suck
you've probably heard about the ways that i like to fuck
i respect that melodic distance [x4]
how would you like to meet a superstar [x2]
staring you down [x6]
state your case into my face [x2]
stop challenging me [x7] it's way too hard
state your case into my face [x2]
very silly [x3], everything i do is so silly, so silly
very very silly [x2]
look at the piss stream [x4]
slowing to a dead stop [x2]
wa wa wa wa wa wa wa [x2]
Track Name: Fap
[present yourself to me]
Track Name: Slap My Cunt
slap my cunt, slap it good
slap my cunt like a good girl should
take it to the limit, i'll see you in hell
insular formulation like a turtle's shell
disconnect the dildo, force the dick in its slot
remember to be thankful for all that you've got
supplement a facet, impress me with smarts
blow me like a temperamental nintendo cart
sow the seeds of fashion and supposed good taste
fuck me in the ass, pour candle wax on my face
slow it down, take your time to say nothing
blow up the town with a motherfucking nuclear weapon
slap my cunt, slap it good
slap my cunt like a good girl should
so you killed a cop, now you're on the run
what did you think that was going to accomplish
when you get sent up to prison i can't make you cum
guess you're just a moron after all
behind the shroud of the self, therein lies the deception
but it's based on fibers and neurons and immeasurable erections
slap my cunt, slap it good
slap my cunt like a good girl should
too much stress, too much strain
may god bless and relieve my spiritual pain
oh the pain oh the pain, it's pounding like the rain in my brain
slapping my cunt is a good thing to do, slapping my cunt will make me like you
Track Name: Need to Fuck
need to fuck, need to fuck, i really need to fuck
Track Name: You Can Suck My Nuts
oh, whoa, oh, whoa, whooooaaaa
you can suck my nuts [x4]
you wanna tell me 'bout the people that you knew
you wanna tell me 'bout all the people that you've screwed
that's what i want to know, that's what i'm here to find out
i'm gonna get that information, i don't want there to be any doubt
no doubt in my mind, no doubt, 'cause i really don't have the time
to tell you everything, information that you need is not something
that i am going to provide, i need to hide the info that i have to hide
but you can tell me everything, oh no
and you can suck on my ding-a-ling, yeah
you can suck my nuts [x8], yeah my nuts [x4], my nuts
Track Name: Croaking Bloke
croaking bloke, i am the croaking bloke [x4]
i was changed into a frog, aug. of '92, changed into a frog, eh, it's true
it's the truth, i don't tell no lies, you can see it in my eyes
and i was morphed into a frog in aug. of '92, i'm not sure when i became a bloke, but that's of no concern to you
i am the croaking bloke and i've got something to tell you: i'm ready to kill
i'm ready to kill, i'm ready to kill, i'm ready to kill
ready to kill, i am ready to kill
i don't understand, but it's something i plan on fulfilling, plan to fulfill
must rhyme [x8], the croaking bloke must rhyme, croaking bloke
croaking bloke, i am the croaking bloke, bloke
croaking bloke, croak, not sure how to make a correct croaking sound
it's time to get down yeah, get down, come to my house
croaking bloke i am the croaking bloke [x2]
feel the rhythm that i instill, suck upon my froggy dill
i've got something to say upon this pulpit of shame
i'm laughing at the safety of america
i am a limey frog, lime green, as most froggies are known to be
and you will give your love to me a thousand times oh baby baby
come to, uh, come come
Track Name: Go Fish
fish are good
Track Name: Sass Rap
celine dion wanna hump hump
big dick in ya ass goin bump bump
titanic is goin down with the colonel sass
nobody gonna be left to give a rat's ass booty blast
where's george, where's monte, where's frosty
i'm a nazi when i'm rollin with my posse
pop a pooter, cop a cooter, rock a poontang
blockin cocks like kangaroos with boomerangs
massive violence to make a cop scream "oh no!"
political partisan with a dick in the ass, foo'
gimme cash, gimme dope, gimme a neck to choke
i can float on proceeds from diet coke
i get paid cause i guzzle gallons and promote
distribution on the global scale, pour it down ya throat
make ya feel just fine and stay up for days
i'll reap the rewards and keep my dick flag raised
i will erase your existence with formaldehyde
i keep it real with steel, i got the money and i got the ride
gonna die a rich man, lots of pussy around
gimme props and pork chops yeah it's goin down
mothafucka say what, huh huh huh buck buck!
huh huh huh huh BUCK BUCK!
Track Name: Pee
pee, pee, pee, pee pee pee
watch me pee, i'll watch you pee
where we gonna take it from here, we're gonna take a pee [x2]
where we gonna take it, no, we're gonna take it all away
we're never gonna give it back, not today, not any other day
we're gonna take it all away
pee, pee, pee
Track Name: Nutslut
oh yeah it's gettin serious baby baby when you look me in the eye that's when i know that you're a
plain to see that you're a
a big nutslut
you're such a fuckin nutslut
that's the way that it has to be
i can deal with that eventuality, the reality, it's something that i've always longed to be
nut slut.
some ppl gonna tell you this:


they don't want you to be yourself, don't want you to express yourself
but i will always support your decisions in anything that you undertake
woo, ow hoo hoo hoo
Track Name: (I Need to Be) Examined (Soon!)
i need to be examined, i need to be examined, yeah
i'm tryin to get through medical school
but i need to be examined, soon
if they find out, i'm gonna be thrown out, if anyone finds out
i'm gonna be thrown out, yeah yeah yeah
i don't want that to happen
need to be examined....
tryin to get thru MEDICAL SCHOOOOOOL
i'm not gonna be thrown out of the SCHOOOOOOOOOOL
yeah yeah yeah....don't let em throw me out the school
no no no nono
Track Name: Talkin' 'Bout Merc
i'm talkin bout merc [x2]
i'm not talkin bout the company called merck, i'm talkin bout that chick called merc
her name is merc, aka mercy, she's from a country that's north of where i am
and it's really nice, they like to knock each other's teeth out, guzzle maple syrup and play hockey all day
"The Canadian Alliance (French: Alliance canadienne), formally the Canadian Reform Conservative Alliance (French: Alliance réformiste-conservatrice canadienne)"
that's not a french accent. ah nah..i've gotta minimize the recorder's window so i can read the wikipedia page...uh, uh, clickin' the mouse now
"Canadian conservative political party that existed from 2000 to 2003. The party was the successor to the Reform Party of Canada and inherited its position as the Official Opposition in the House of Commons and held it throughout its existence."
mercy is a spy workin' for the canadian govt.
i've seen her outside my bedroom with spy equipment multiple times
she doesn't like to that's a given
i am the leader of the conservative party of canada
march 27th 2000, i murdered a man who worked for the american govt because he was opposed to my activities in texas
this text is available in multiple languages such as:


would you like to edit this article? you'll have to run it by the Mercolator first
diseased south texas penis is waiting for you
Track Name: Kurt's Ghost
i was visited by kurt's ghost
he came back in the form of a smashing pumpkins message board troll
i stuck a knife in his head, you know i thought that motherfucker was dead
but a few hours later i was visted by kurt's ghost's ghost
well that's the point at which i said to myself
i guess i must accept the eventuality of my perpetual misery
so i shot myself in the head, it didn't take long 'til i became dead
the papers and the tv were shocked and amazed
at a turn of events that could only be described as depraved
totally depraved, totally depraved
wretched, and a bad example, go ahead and put me on trial, the evidence is ample, it's ample
oh, oh, oh, whoa, whoa, sing to your children of my most heroic deeds
and how i fulfilled all your sexual needs
my dick was on the scene, at the turn of the millennium i made reality a dream oh yeah
wait, i made reality of the dream, i didn't read that part right
because i am slightly intoxicated oh yeah
scores of humans who came before, the dream to be one is one that we cannot ignore
so love your neighbor and kill the opposition
try to improve the overall human condition
grow tall as a redwood and live a thousand years
do justice to the memory of all our stinging tears
cops and servicemen, politicians, trying to thwart my technological vision
the earth will open and the trolls will emerge
and bring about an end to the obvious scourge, that scourge, uh huh
and kurt's ghost was instrumental in my victory, he's the one for me
Track Name: Suckage Game
the suckage game...
why don't we live, why don't we try
why don't we do what we want to do
all we ever do is lie and die, oh why
it's bad, it's the worst world i ever had
i gotta die just to get away, to get away from the world today
and the suckage game...
Track Name: Afroguy
[featuring vocal samples of smashingpumpkins message board user 'afroguy]
i'm gonna fuckin' knife ye
i'd fuckin' love to shag yer ma
up yours, ye fuckin' ballbag
fuck off ye complete fanny...
[and some stuff i can't make out]
Track Name: Bungholio
bungholio, i got a big bunghole...
Track Name: Carved in Stone
competency test i rail against / can i carve your face in stone
a blusterbucket swims beside the shore i call my home
revolution losers bored by plaster casts of christ
biochemists falsify evidence of a poltergeist
nine percent is disappointing, purge the stunned wolf, i anoint thee
to heel in hell too pure to sell, the wild policeman molds his shell
trees abound in a silent town, overhead we soon are bound
flight of fancy a nose ahead, natives are restless, the cops are dead
take me in your arms forevermore, my sweetest girlfriend
love me til the end of time my feelings to expend

mutter stumble derivate insipid myopic luck rebates
in counsel stasis stipend stalwarts stir the pot of protest...spaceport
you grow so listless reading the papers of science journals that cost too much
i blow the mistress, bleeding favors compliance internal, add frost and such
and so it goes ignoble gossip convict fashions lawyers dance
alien witch spies bludgeon the fiddlers in/out the fabled expanse
panic-stricken ladies fluffing up and getting down
atoms of hydrogen oxygen and carbon conspiring together to build a town
argue-bound vegans folded paper morons romance the ozone splice
they'll wreck the sterling bargain's recreational device

duplicated business cards of forest-dwelling dwarfs
specializing in contoured ropeburn and personal digital morphs
propose a toast to prove the most inane inversion bluff
composite pitfall strikes a chord while munching on your muff
narrate low slung taxi cab and mind the oar excepts/exceptions
store it in your carport and rent it out for sex
happy wizards advocate the maxim of the prayer
set the world on fire and get the hell out of there
risen crystal formats news above abusive bush
raving loonies storm the college and kill everything that moves
better get the hell away

probable destruction rates improbable construction laced
shifting face the mailbox razed i'm fazed i'm a novice at economics
wiser world parochial devoutly toppled unit slouch
a sect that counts, a butt that bounce, a cat that pounce, marijuana one ounce
basis nailed the orbit solo angel wing tips stray, whatever
planet earth apologize, for i'm here to stay
i'm here to say that was great
you trouble me and everyone with tales of love gone by
spackle the spittle with hammer and sickle while aperture of apples
appraising me as i deceive them
the apple cores are dividing and the fascists are designing
their duck heads conducting the power which fluctuates
boosted by a typeface pipsnap strychnine solemnity stirrup fruitcake

the economy pockets the worried graduates / why does the crunch bubble kindly relinquish
just concern strains beneath leveled drug / will added rocks celebrate metaphorically
behavior that questions is hell an opposite / a failing insurgence disrupts somewhat
rectangular symphony mental hierarchy / inhabit a promise of decimal decibel
a nearby diesel truck shies away / the queen does her solo for all to see
the champagne is missing / imagine a motto / the remedy peers
the cluster enforcing / i blame the basket / rename the casket
the question i asked it / get strangled by python
bicycle practice get split by a lawyer / big dicks are comin for you
migration is imminent / lover jams are worth it / relief tenders margins
numbers imbalanced the screaming is tarnished
postponing the neutral morality scruples / crying assault
leaves in the vault / select your payment method / return my affidavit
the bubbles are fussy / the sunrise is a pussy
when afternoon comes i'll shoot you with guns
whatever you say i admit i'm insane
buttfuck you with a baseball bat, jugular puncture by sabrecat
fundamentalist retirees you need something to believe
i'm a feminist in a carpark waiting for a ride
heterosexual synthesis outer visual counterpart
anagrammatical bootdisk dispersal elitist
fly furry outrage glove generosity conformity
cupboard aligned rave essence lecture hall vendor blank
ingredients degenerates lead me down city streets
let's go wanna go go go go let's go come on come on let's go
baby baby b b b b b b baby
gonna carve your face in stone
everyone is carved in stone
no, yes, give, lots, of money, to me, baby, it's really neat
when you give me that money
come on, let's get, it on, in hell
Track Name: The Possibility of Doing Me
silence is golden, i find your questions irritating
gather up your needs and expectations and do me...
i have only so long before i die
i would like to get some puss before i expire
i will sing in your choir
and you have the opportunity to lick my fucking sack before it's too late
before my corpse is rotting in the ground...
fuck, fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck me
ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh
ohhhh sweet jesus i know that i don't have a big schlong
but i know i can fuck you a long time
and that's something that you might want to consider
if you are considering the possibility of doing me
i'd like you to consider the possibility of doing me!
thank you for your consideration have a nice day
Track Name: Clit Eclipse
[feat. vocal samples of adam/"scorpiopulse"]

my clit is eclipsed by my labia lips!
Track Name: Cum by the Barrel
cum by the barrel [x6]
i got a got a lot of cum and i store it diligently
i keep it in a fuckin barrel, for everyone to use frequently
got cum by the barrel and i really want you to see
i gotta go to many different places, i'll be traveling overseas
with a barrel in tow, oh baby don't you know
you're one of my many hoes, i gotta get it goin i gotta keep it on
i gotta turn on the lights i gotta pull down the sheets
i gotta get my ass in tow
everywhere i go i got lots of hoes, i got cum by the barrel don't you know
i got cum by the barrel
the fuckin barrel, it's a lot of shit
fuckin bitch, fuck you
Track Name: Panda Panda
panda panda p-p-p-p-panda...
oh my god what the hell's goin on
there's a panda comin down from the sky
it's come to tell you all the reasons why we live and die
every one of you has got a reason but you dare not dispel
or disclose your reasons for the things you do
all the things you screw, the panda knows everything...
she knows why you hide your soul away
she's gonna make you pay, she's got the scepter in her hand
she's got the things to make you understand
like money and power and fame and unbelievable pain
panda panda, p-p-p-p-panda
get out of her way when she calls, she's got the demons to make you crawl
don't talk to me about understanding, my dick will understand it all
i receive direct transmissions from the panda panda
do you understand that my pole has the power to take control
do you understand the ramifications, ramifications
it really takes someone of great intellect
to interpret the prophecies that come down from mount olympus
courtesy of the little panda
i need to see you tonight, will that be acceptable
i can arrange transportation and full payment upon delivery
panda panda p-p-p-p-panda...
Track Name: Dicksnack
dicksnack, have a dicksnack
Track Name: Aye Legondo
i'm the man who can give what you want in this life
i can provide the things that can get you money and wife
you'll never want for nothing, and i will be in control of you
fuck you in the ass, fuck me with 10,000 lbs of high grade grass
i am a heroin smuggler and i like to shoot up the stuff
i get it in my veins and i lick on 10,000 fucking muffs
aye aye aye aye, i am the frito bandito
come with me into the next plane
i've got a spaceship and i've got a big brain
aye aye aye, i will take you to the next level
i'm gonna make your govt fall, and take it all
die die die die die
this is a good vocal take
Track Name: Singing On and Off (This Forum)
well i'm singing everywhere i go i'm singing
it's something you should know
it's fantastic i get spastic i like to wrap myself in plastic
and dance the night away with Saint Renee
i like to dance the night away with Martine Castonguay
Jsapp, Dr Jupiter and Afroguy
all my friends can attest to the fact
that i can sing with tact and swing my ballsack
well the world as it is gives me such pause
representative democracy with fascists and bad laws
trying to control our every move
i got a liberal agenda and something to prove
give me a knife and a gun that pops
i feel like i'm playing gta when i drive by the cops
get my uzi to go, you know i'm ready to blow
rat tat tat tat and that's all she wrote
when i get back home and sign on the smashing pumpkins board
i'll be singing for the revolution and the countless hordes
and finally i'll state for you last but not least
let's all get some lone star and spaghetti and have a victory feast
i'm singing, on and off
i'm singing, on and off
this forum, and when i'm floating aloft
i'm bringing, i'm bringing changes to bear
i'm blinging, check the clothes that i wear
diamonds in my neck, diamonds in my wrist
uzi uzi in my hand and the other is a constant fist
Track Name: Needy Ho II (The Sequel)
what do you need? i need a trick . i look at the world and it makes me sick . i can't buy the things i need to live. i can't take the things that i can't give.
a most cruel fate, baby
like sth that rhymes
PULLIN GATS, CAPPIN PRICKS. WHEN I'M ROLLIN WIT MY CLIQUE. i look at the world and it makes me sick
we're all a bunch of needy hoes at the end of the day. when there's nothing left to say then i'll send you on your way
but you know that i need someone right by my side
for whom i can cast aside my, all my pride, stubborn pride
and say with sincerity sure that i don't hope or pray anymore.
for another more awesome than thee
for thou art my true one and only
and i'll love you til time's tree is stripped bare
and the lumbering history unfair is remade into houses for all
who would share the desire to crawl out of pits of deciduous death
on to fields of evergreen bliss, til the presence of god be so felt
that one can't help but pander and melt into pools of a tar-like repose
with no need for possessions or clothes
where then we will exist as one, and appear like an ocean of cum
the result end of all needy hoes, no more solitude, fear, stress or foes
to besiege and belie my intent for the whole fucking world to get bent
and humanity can forever thrive, and take comfort in being alive.
being alive is good, playing a chord is good
being a ho is good
fulfill my needs, fulfill my needs, my monetary needs, my monetary needs
must be fulfilled, must be fulfilled
fulfill all my sexual needs and my money needs too
get in bed and screw screw screw, that's really all i wanna do
but afterwards there better be a 20 on the nightstand
when i go to the store i better be able to pull out my debit card
and say to that man "i'm gonna buy all this shit"
Track Name: Bioweapons
drink that beer fuck that bitch drink that beer fuck that bitch now
won't you do it now, i'm gonna do it now...
i wanna do it now...yeah, yeah
drink that beer like a good man should
travel to washington dc, holding my wood, holding my wood
i'm gonna tell you a story about sth that never happened to me
like fucking a beautiful bitch in washington dc, i never did that
and i'll never do that, i'm gonna sit in this room and rot
til i'm a hundred and 55 years old, and i've got sth that's made of sth
that's more worthwhile than gold
and it's called miller high life
i don't understand why i've suddenly, suddenly warmed up to the idea
of killing myself, killing myself, i would like to die soon
this guitar sucks major dick, shit's blowin up all across the usa
and i'm responsible, yes i claim responsibility for all these terrorist attacks
i'm the one who sits in a bedroom and whacks
and uses vibrators up the ass, ass, oh yeah, oh yeah
i like to fuck, i like to suck, this song doesn't have lots of good words
doesn't have anything that would impress cameron
but it might impress you...
fuuuuucking fucking cunt, cock, balls, quief, fucking peckerwood
a la la la motherfucker, come to my house and say it to my face
i am a man who can make your life better
i am the man who will give you his sweater
i'm a man who's in control of his faculties
ugh! ugh!!!!!!!!! uhh.... uh....oh..oh yes...cyclical patterns of dissonance
resonate in my facilitating falsified proletariat pantomime
i want 10,000 dimes, give me a knife so i can die
i lick 10 billion cunts, i like to lick them forevermore, yeah
oh yeah!!! obsess over my internet presence
obsess over my stupidity, i am the man with which you have to deal
when the hostage situations go down
i am the man with the gun, the bomb, the plane
i've got bioweapons, yeaaah i've got bioweapons
yeah, i've got weapons, i've got weaponnnnnnnnnnnns
i've got weapons. ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ahhh ahh ahh ahhhhhhhhh
was that good enough
Track Name: Complete Destruction, No Questions Asked
no lyrics thank goodness
Track Name: Song (Write That Song)
songwriting is a pain it's an art that requires a brain
sometimes i don't want to do it anymore it becomes an unbearable strain
feel if you will the complete degradation of my soul
as i spurn the advance of my profession and goal
recompense to the slain too little too late i'm afraid
feelings get burned and turnabout's fair play
fuck the world and its problems and all the nonsense as well
the complete and utter dissonance of life's unending hell
chords and notes and melodies it's like a wretched plague or disease
find your own path and follow it diligently i'm not gonna live your life for you
so get the hell out of my way and come back again some other day
i'll be there for you you know it's true so please give me some money
art is sth we need, to make it you have to bleed
living the blues is a kind of martyrdom
doesn't really matter if i'm smart or dumb
i've done my part now it's time to do yours
take off your clothes and crawl on all fours
now you know what it means to live like an animal
have your equilibrium bludgeoned and your senses dulled
force of nature or habit unknown
we gravitate towards the spinning globe
it never stops it never ends it follows laws and disregards trends
it's very important, it won't listen to me, just like all you people
that aren't listening to me
i've got a microphone, yo
Track Name: Scamperpants (Mindless Medley)
if you subscribe to my plan, if you subscribe to my plan
i will fuck you over air, sea and land
if you subscribe to my plan, if you subscribe to my plan
i will fuck you over air, sea and land
cash in my pocket, waiting for the sun to go down
unholy racket making a cacophonous sound
choose wisely, choose wisely
hey won't you climb into my truck. hey won't you try to give a fuck
crawl, crawl, crawl, crawl
cure the disease so i can fuck more [x4]
definitely a problem [x2]
ah yeah, rock and roll is what i want to do, yeah i'm gonna screw
but not really cause that wouldn't be proper
and you know me i'm always proper
i've got lots of time to kill, i'm gonna suck 10,000 dills oh yeah
and you know what that means uh huh
would you please sign your name right here [x2]
oh god, oh my goodness, i don't have enough plywood
i need to save my life, oh goodness gracious
oh please don't let me get in trouble with the fucking bullshit that i see
it's flying my way, it's flying in front of my face
it's a lot of fuck fluid that is being displaced, a lot of time that is going to be waste
ah, ah, ah...ah, ah, ah ah ah ah
doobie do do, doobie do do [x2] give me what i want now [x3]
god speaks to me, god is really neat [x2]
here comes the plane, here comes the fucking airplane
it's gonna land on my soul [x2]
i don't really like that possibility
hey won't you, hey won't you, hey won't you fuck off [x2]
fuck off today, today, today, todayyy, ooh ooh ooh
nobody knows how fucked up you are, and i'll tell them as soon as i'm a star [x4]
i already called a pussy, i don't need to elaborate further
so many times i've had to tell you i don't know
so far away from everything i'm all alone
i don't want to tell you anything no i don't want to tell you
i don't want to tell you anything
don't mistake my ignorance for approval [x2]
it's really simple [x2]
now now now come to my house, come to my house, ugh ugh ugh
if you really cared about me, would you try to kill me
if you really cared about me, but you don't do you, no you don't do you
don't get so excited [x4]
i'm gonna make a stand, i'm gonna make my intention clear
i'm gonna make a stand, and it's all gonna happen here
good good good, i really like the way these events are coming to pass
i really like to lick your fucking ass, i want to taste it
and i fully expect you to DRINK MY SPERM
drink my sperm, drink my sperm, drink my motherfucking sperm
when the night falls over my head, i will look to you to give me
massive amounts of head
follow the arrow [x8], no way to win, so much destruction, no way to win
so much destruction, no way to win, no way to win
so much death so much destruction, ahh ohhh
i don't have to tie it in, ah yeah
hey motivation you broken bastard
certainly opposite, follow the efforts of love through the wall
get alone get away
hey, hey,
too many sounds, not enough frolicking [x2]
finding new reasons to stay behind
chalk it up to a new found hope, i've got enough rope to hang myself today oh yeah
i really hope that i will be able to contact you after i'm gone
i wanna get along, i've got a big fat schlong, oh yeah, oh yeah
oh baby baby baby, i really hope you're gonna be around
for the next episode of "suck my fucking dong" uhh uhh uhh
that's not a real snowflake, that's sth you put on a pancake
i'm talking to myself and i think it's very important
won't you come to my house and lick on my penis
won't you come on, come on, sweet darling and tell me why you
have these fake snowflakes on your coat
i don't know whoa i don't know why, why do you cry, why do you cry
try not to spill nuclear waste on my head
i don't need your instruction, i'm ready to go wherever i have to
i have to go everywhere, do everything i was sent here to relate
the story of life to you, to me, if i could only remember the words
that have been spoken to me in the past, in the past in the future
and the future will be mine, it'll be mine to see, it'll be mine to release
it'll be mine forevermore and ever after, i will see you and lean on you
and release you from your obligations obligations obligations to me, whoa yeah, oh yeah, hahahaha
you've got fantastic abilities, you've got a fantastic ability to destroy my mind and soul
you've got fantastic abilities, you've got fantastic abilities to destroy my life and my worldly pursuits, everything i do, all the things that i do
oh mamemaglhifdhgdlhg;ldhaldhwealgheg;h tomatillo,...yamamoto...i lick your pussy and lick it faster
i want to get some head, head, i'm gonna get lots of head
lots of head yeah whoa gonna get that fuckin head, head, head
head head get me some head gimme some head i really like the way your tongue feels on my cockhead, cock, feels on my cockhead
cock cock cunt cunt son of a bitch, lick them titties, get em, whip em out, come on, i really gotta get some fuckin sex
i'm depriving myself like a monk, i gotta get 10,000 kilos of cunt
ah yeah it's very very interesting sometimes, i feel the need to tell you all these rhymes
oh god, it's overwhelming my mind, oh, i feel the pull of gravity upon my prostate gland, uh, i've got plans, i've got plans, i've got plans
gotta water those plants, plans are like plants cause they need attn
like my cock needs attn, and i've got a pension, but i never did no work
it's called a pension for cocksmoking jerks
suck me [x3] oh suck me [x4] suck me suck me uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh, uh, uh, uhhh, uhhhh, uh uh uh uh
look at the piss stream [x4] oh oh oh whoa whoaaaaaaaaaaa
sex is good, sex is goooooooooooood g-g-g-goood
why would you deny my sexual advances [x2]
take a shot of this take a shot of that [x4] oh
you silenced me, silenced me, i wanna tell you how i feel
about being the subject of experiments, human experiments, human experiments, oh ah whoah
so what the fuck are you doing to me
there's no limit on the amt of cunt i can suck
there's no limit on the amt of cunt i can suck
i feel the pain of a thousand nations in my brain
i feel the pain of god's great earth upon my soul
come to me, baby, i want you to suck my woooood
you, would you do the honors, i've got sons and daughters
that will attest to my mission statement, oh
it's really important, i'm really important
i am a motherfucking
genius [x5] oh i've got a penis and it needs some attn
so please suck my dong, oh please suck my dong
suck my dong, suck my dong, suck my dong, dong, dong dong dong dong dong
stupid plague [x3], suck a big fat donkey
throw the game throw the game, i've got a lot of money bet on this [x2]
game, ow yeah
you don't have a chance [x6] oh you don't have you don't have you don't have
have a chance, chance
you see an opportunity, i see death, that's what i see when i look at your success
i want to tell you just how i think of you, die in a hole you fucking bastard
you'll literally have sex with anything [x3]
you've changed your outlook [x2] on life
-chomp- -chomp-
Track Name: Write a Story 3 Words at a Time (Book I)
Written by the posters of the General Discussion forum of the message board.
here's a breakdown of who contributed:

Who posted in: Write a Story Three words at a Time.
Member name Posts
----------- -----
ufomammut 103
gargoyle socks 103
ShamanO 58
Derek Sporck 42 39
pumpkinpenchant 35
sirbill 30
scorpiopulse 24
Deleted User 22
rosenkreuzer 20
Liquid_Peppermint 20
AsRomeBurns 17
Mercy 17
explodingkid 16
judas 16
PopcornSmiley 15
Rocket_Baby_Dolls 15
aztec_litany_service 14
Liquid Glass 14
All_that_and_a_bag_of_chips 12
Julian 12
waltermcphilp 10
Crystal_Ship 9
Dontgetangryitsjustagame 8
DeathRockBoi 7
Toerag 7
frosty 6
calla lily 5
Knulp 5
Facecloth 4
MarieMc 4
NotPeteYorn 4
MachinesOfLight 4
metocusheadocus 3
the_farewell_party 3
_Revolution_Blues 3
LarkinLondon 3
MyBigToe_V2 3
pastup 2
marigold 2
blanket_skies 2
.absof. 2
CoolAsIceCream 2
SilverF_ck 2
Dawn2Dusk 2
Machina III 2
Account Deleted 1
Black_Milk 1
kelsome 1
Aristocles 1
guru26 1
andrewface 1
ssttaarrllaa 1
Elphenor 1
Everlastingfool 1
nasalscarecrow 1
bmaromars95 1
Guglielmo 1
showers 1
DustinDanielRay 1
cahiers 1
armacnab 1
I Give Up 1
crestfallen73 1
rellica 1
mr_lewis 1
BlindedBySightIII 1
Bountiful_Wasteland 1
Guest 97

Lyrics [Book I] [compiled by george (Popcorn Smiley)]:

On a cold plate of steel, I will chop up my dick, my steak, ferociously. Steak, dick, it's all the same. The very end.

Part II. Sweet smelling perfume.

I went batshit over a rainbow, with bloody hands into his anus and out his...My sharpened axe split their skulls into two pieces. I laughed gleefully, shot the sheriff whilst Goldilocks masturbated into my pool and Kurt Cobain fed the chickens, ate his brains. My inner zombie under the sky kinda smells bad, and the rat to eat flesh. Yes, raw flesh smelled of farts. After the Armageddon, I ruled mankind until the fall of China's wall. The flesh-eating virus never did come, leaving flesh tasty and full of high cholesterol content from eating cheese, cutting the cheese. He found God, His Royal Cheesehead, and he said, "Dude, what up?" Clicked the mouse and then Billy, his shining light ate some cheese, asked the sea, "am I lost?" in complete insanity. Then, Billy turned and spoke softly: "Armageddon isn't funny...flesh eating is." Billy transformed into a uniform bathtub containing Bruce Dickenson, bathing in milk and blood of flesh-eating zombies.

The best part of waking up is the sound of sucking eggs. Zombies suck eggs? Only when they pee at night into my pool of egg yolk from Waffle House (in the evening). The next day, Billy and I put on galoshes in the dark. For the first moment, we groped each other's butts into the pool. Then, we realized the sheriff took the water out! Ouch, that hurt! It felt good in the beginning, but soon afterwards I had warts that went away with Voodoo magic and Stolley's Vodka, only to resurface underneath an airplane that couldn't land on land or water because it has no wings or buffalo sauce to dip into and become yummy just like a...just like Billy. Billy is yummy. Yes, he is not the sheriff. Sheriff Billy walked into the saloon with Domino's pizza and started eating a German pizza like a maniac, with hot sauce and paper napkins. Never sure why. Not to mention the pizza was just a reflection of his love of his ego and his hate for plain socks. A missed flight. Find the next campfire gay coach, edible wall flower, and listen to him ramble on under a chair without any pants or a hat of wooden bones. He got cold deep inside. He unzipped his pants too long to take his shirt and eat it, while stroking the bottom of his rather oversized, blue suede shoes. Then, he danced fast...way too fast...faster than a turd taking flight into the toilet with a splash and a splish. And then he found something interesting: a peace sign made out of unicorns and colorful cotton balls. It shown like a golden taco from the pearly gates of a forgotten dream about the last World's Fair, until someone rudely poked their finger inside Billy's ear and tasted it. It gave her a bitter taste in her mouth, but in her mind, there is something sweet, like a big döner or some currywurst.

One day, my mayo went rancid, so I bought eggs for sucking my big toe while I farted the alphabet and walked away to a faraway land where everyone farts in rhythm to Smashing Pumpkins music. So I began feeling my way using some leftover mashed potatoes melted garlic butter gravy. Quickly, I drew my gun, aimed at the nearest lamp post, missed, accidentally shot Obama in the briefcase...that's all.

"Jesus loves you," sang Phil Collins in the shower to his penis and his taint. Then, he farted into his hand and smelled it while sighing. Afterwards, he wrote "Misunderstanding" and "Duchess," too while eating pineapple with his drumsticks. "China Cat Sunflower" is the name of the acid used to melt the leaden perception behind her ears. Someone was itching. A spider twitching. The end. The end? Don't let Sprock ruin our fun just because his is the beginning...of the end.

Lastly, a mutant from the depths came crawling towards my big shoes and bit them off my feet. So I had to retrieve them with my prehensile tongue. So I started to make yummy pot brownies, to give them to Christopher Walken, but he roared, "I'm gonna stab someone in the neck!" If you feel especially violent, like Alec Baldwin when he drinks too much beer with a straw through his nose like an elephant swimming in a cesspool of hate mixed with love and taco sauce so he could eat Taco Bell with cute last_rose_of_summer, and loves Morgan and Catherine and... All the good boys eat fudge, looks like poop from a scoop with rainbow sprinkles and a huge ping ping ball with blue eyes and no hair nor any socks because it has excessively large toes and big nose. And Michael Richards covered in fur like hairy balls from a big Yeti that roams looking for nookie with grizzly bears or Komodo dragons and smiling butterflies with kaleidoscope wings in a teargarden in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Nice, I love chicken in buckets and cranberry flavored drinks with vodka and pineapple juice makes us creative in delusional ways that create havoc when psychotic minds meld into pizza pie topped with pineapples, mushrooms, and pepperoni flavored brains, hemoglobin marinara sauces eaten by placebo while waving yellow and standing atop the moon. Next, olives aren't pizza, unless they are swallowed by some whale like Ahab, who has come from outer space to bring everyone penguins and pizza and Golden Globes, in which case they speak to former bandmates about cursing small children into the evils and depths of master M.C. Donalds, rappin' to the sound of silence, ya mutha fucka, cool sucker, yes. And I say bad language sucks huge donkey dick. Coming for Sprock is such word play that sucks.

I like pizza with some fresh avocado, lemons, and gravy, tomato sauce and cheese, lots of--

Why did you accuse me of bringing sexy back!?

Roxanne, you don't have any Skittles. Therefore, I can't taste the rainbow, but fly to the nearest cloud and set up a shoelace factory for feathered shoes and Milky Ways to walk between the might big piggs in space, oinking silently together, contemplating becoming bacon.

Neural pathways sizzling with sunnyside eggs and a biscuit with some gravy and several Tums picked up off the dirty floor. But who is hiding behind the bushes right now? Creeping silently out with a noodle, a wet noodle screaming for sex and for's Floppy Nono! Floppy is wearing just about nothing. He watches you masturbate until morning, and thinking about people's bad spelling of the word "masturbation." However, if you wear a Pedo Bear costume, he might give Dick Cheney fellatio with some sandpaper on a boat that has capsized on dry land...Fuck you all, at my place with a wooden spoon up Alexz's delicious chocolate pudding and silky liquid shampoo and conditioner in a vat of molten fat surrounded by Liquid_Peppermint's desire for Cam in his dreams (which come true for your other personality whose name reminds me of wet turtle droppings tracked through the tainted muddy waters of HtH's soul of ironically pure virgin prostitutes with cases of malted giant milk balls that look like meese in disguise to avoid the high fashion police with their faux rainbow colored wigs).

After some time and some expense, the rape conviction became an orgy focused on Cam because they always demand the Cam on Fridays with ridiculously vigorous enthusiasm. They never could relinquish their Cam for the thought of his bikini, appreciating good looks while he poses, upon everyone's request, showing his muff and peen cleavage. Derek and Karen are awesome people because they enjoy radiating pure greatness every time they take a breath of fresh summer, spring, and fall. Of course, they each have giant boobs and eyelashes, paired with gorgeous legs. After they worship Cam's greatness and Karen's greatness, and last_rose_of_summer's awesomeness, and stellar's sweetness, among other things...story is nonsense!

So yesterday, aztec_litany_service came into here and said, "story--"

Suddenly a penguin exploded after swallowing a loaded potato, which was cooked with an engine full of black Camito wonderful goodness that makes people feel like dying. So I just hold on to my ball sack because it feels smooth as eggs. At least, that's a creepy segue for Cameron to avoid referencing further. Even though he, in his heart, likes the hair of the dog, and he always, without fail, sniffs the hole from every passing bitch who enters his immediate vicinity while particularly smelly. Eurgh, while considered onomatopoeia...I misspelled egual to impress Sophia. It didn't work. He was too intimidatingly sexy, and intense computer hatred means life is pointless and ridiculously boring without Ash, even if he wore clown make-up (that suited him) and the dress of a dead stolen from graves...this sentence doesn't make much sense. Cam's sexiness does.

I threw up in my mouth out of lust for kinky fetishes like monkey wrestling, which is Sophia's potatoes. Big juicy Rohypnol tablets, crushed like Cam's braincell into a fine tainted angel dust flea powder. But it manifested more and infected a...BUT WAIT! WHAT is my penis doing inside Cam's list of banned parts to touch? I don't think I could love anyone after I bought them cheese while they were wearing a banana-shaped sex toy inside of their Jeep Grand Cherokee. Then, all of the greasy bees would start to vigorously vomit honey...get a jar!

Today's the greets, but yesterday wasn't that good. Tomorrow I have to go to sleep or else my legs and arms will start to twist off your perky and round eyeballs out of your face. Then, Sasquatch had his way with Walter and more oboarders, but not me, but he fondled all the boys until they squealed and begged for hot steamy piles of white sauce, semi salted, smothered, covered, and chunked like cottage cheese with peaches and warming lube. The warmth was too intense for their delicate flower stems that wilted into their butt crack for some extreme drag racing action, which fucking sucked. So instead, everyone imagined AIDS victims washing their minivans with infected blood. Unfortunately for them, the Foo Fighters fired Pat Smear for being creepy. However, they neglected to be good. So, as punishment, they all died. Bodies were misplaced, while moose were suppressed for being Communists in 1953. They took the wrong option, and ate some KFC that was injected with freshly donated black licorice. Oscar nominees usually suck.

Lonely, oh so lonely. Kill me.

I'm really happy due to maternal instinct gene therapy.


Ralph Maccio's career, that was awesome. Tions naked boobs...what the fuck!?

How many times have I told your sister to eat all that tasty Pumpkins pie, which is contaminated with Michael Richards' N-word spouting tirades. Unfortunately for you, the plans are hidden in my anus, so nobody will ever dig a handful, because that's gross.

Sometimes, Mayfair likes molester mustached men to tickle his own molester mustache. Poor Jeff Daniels met Keanu Reeves. Then, they proceeded with Bruce Campbell's giant pituitary gland tumor that made asparagus taste good. Insofar as history goes, Cam's nightmares consist of Pumpkins pie filled with organs and pumpkin seeds. However, he's unaware of his underwear because it's invisible and very snug around the Johnson, but rides up. The End.

Whenever Kyle Gass doesn't murder Jack, he picks his guitar and plays annoying trashy shit. The stage looks like fields of barley, glazed with honey and sugar, while your farm attracts countless bees that kill everyone. You suck cause you are Ireneusz. Well, thank you for forgiving me for my ridiculously sexy Cam looks. That doesn't make Irek comparatively appealing. "Where are your shrines for appreciation of the Cam?" Penis problems ahead in Brandon's world. Stop the punctuation failures for Cam. LOL you—you killed the grammar! Cam is awesome. (LIES! LIES! LIES!) Awesome is insufficient. I am one. Ich bin diner. Holy cranky cow!

A few minutes. She got a lesson in syntax and no underwear, sat in noodles and Peking Duck. What was that conveniently timed distraction? Gives the excursion that doesn't exist. The chance of a lifetime lay was considered when Olga Kurylenko walked away from a contract, choosing instead to have lunch consisting of chupacabra, eel, rhinoceros, and Rosie O'Donald's last shred of dignity. Under the blankets, my pillow hurts from being bitten.

"Fuck you guys." "We're sorry, Rafael." "I'm not jerk."

Fudge packer Tom "Tommy" Thomas, who was previously convicted of molesting a rather large wombat, prepared himself for molesting another wombat with the accompaniment of his family of chupucabra enthusiasts. (That was awesome.) Well, it would suffice to say that Tommy had his birthday coming, arcs of silky white streamers and floating monkey balloons. I found a half-eaten cookie monster under the bed, crawling through ice cream with sprinkles and garlic. Alas, giant man-eating junebugs crawled up Monte's mustachioed face from Cam's vagina. "What the hell?" said Cam, slightly perturbed by statutory rapists like Brandon as they lurked around the choolyard, preying on the praying mantids. They figured they would need some help in order to bury Irek's corpse.

"Well, good bye." "Good bye, Irek." "Hello, again, Peter 'Robin Williams' Pan!"

Nasty Nut Crackers is Irek's favorite.

"Good morning, love." "Please do not ever, ever again do that, or die in a pool full of Smashing Pumpkins. Yeah!"

Carrie married Irek. "HA! HA! HA!" said the groom, "Neil. Patrick. Harris. should go to bed—not with me. I love others, such as Cam. Oh yes, you and me or some hot boy, such as Cam." (Not in my book.)

Carrie denies truth, carries Cam away unto eternal bliss.

"Good morning world!"
"Goodbye, cruel world!"
"Goddam the bollocks!"
"What's going on?"
"I AM HUNGRY! Feed me now!"

Feed the world, then murder everyone. Sick sad world. Ireneusz the turd. WOOP, THERE SHE IS, Irek's next victim, unsuspecting of the trial of cause, accepting miscellaneous Japanese pixelation of genitalia.

Vagina Dentata's victim was covered in green mucus and lots of blood. Also, horse semen, which can be a healthy breakfast. If, however, the horse semen doesn't contain nutritious ingredients, you should just use it as a face moisturizer, within reason. But never try to not kill horse, because then you kill the horse.

Anyway, let's take some gay sheep, name it "Ewing" after Patrick Ewing (and pronounced "Ee-wing"), and we will dress him in pearls and your grandma's paper towels. Snorting 100,000 kilos of the same wool that was a cocaine substitute, and a damn good one at that. The wool was soft and very white. Monte, combing his mustache, stated, somberly, that Billy Corgan inappropriately rubbed his vagina. After the sopping, he smanged the...
Track Name: Write a Story 3 Words at a Time (Book II)
[similar contributors as the first part, but i didn't bother to tally it up this time lol]

And so it became known that Cam is hot. So he decided to emulate Cam, but that failed because it's impossible, and because it's obviously a lie formed in the Bizarro World. Therefore, delusions of grandeur, only in Bizarro, correlate notwithstanding of failures to comply. Just then the friction got hot, and he said "why am I fucking a midget?" What if the trilobites were connected with balloons made from Mew songs and cherry cola? Then we'd have a lot more time to think about stuff. Nevertheless I cannot reconcile how much I spend on bitches daily. For the past 20 years I have been trying to get away from the Thought Police. They are closing in under horrible pretense to mess with my bitches. It is tough being so good with nothing and nobody, for real, homiez. Falsified immigration documents always lead me to suspect Cam, because he's always searching for victims and taking their identifications, never considering the feeling of what it's like to make a failed seduction occur. At the approval of the Senate special committee on Competitive Dick Sucking and Cum Guzzling, I declare today all competitive dick enhancement must not take place in vats of excrement. Instead the chosen one of Venice will eat dicks, absorbing their length all the way because nobody does uh uh uh -- Stop! ....Hammer Time! Na na na hey hey goodbye - nobody really does absorb their length leaving pissy YouTube comments for you and nobody else. All they want is to be naked on a comfortable bed with Hulk Hogan's dick in their mouth dick penis cock sperm cunt procreate, damn that was rather profane, sir, said your mother. Can you please leave me alone so I can get some sleep from all the grammatically retarded posts. Beautiful vista views and wild horses beckon me to inject heroin into my favorite turtle to ease his massive sex drive. Don't speak to atheists, they always prefer mental telepathy which is totally gonna rock your rock. Cheese, when rolling back your foreskin, is a delicacy in some children. Speaking from the heart, I give to the Mayans, your favorite racial stereotype, my favorite party costume. Every Christmas I kill 200 elves and keep their cloaks in my dessicated coconut flakes in the birdcage. It's difficult to smash their heads when limbless, bro. And far gone are the endless dreams of ephemeral earthbound pleasure seekers. And gone are the sullen mourners drawn in agony, painting their tears with their own powdered nasal passages. So much lost. Forgotten will be my last orgy, for I was dead, and yet they fucked me. I wasn't sure what they really thought of my being dead as necrophilia is mostly an acquired taste. The frostbitten rabbits weren't bothered by orgiastic displays of blue limbs and brown penises or Margaret Thatcher's corpse. Her sagging, wrinkley merkin-wearing body found salvation in yellow PT Cruisers. When will the more interesting threads ascend again? I hope it's soon. Until then, I'll take the initiative and log out and jerk off. Yellow PT Cruisers [wtf?] also saved my ancient chicken grandpa from the maw of rabid hyraxes singing Boston's "More Than a Feeling," nailing the vocals. The next song the hyraxes sang was Simply Red's "Holding Back the Years." It was a glorious rendition, with kazoos and shit. It reminded Mick Hucknall of prostitutes in Lisbon. With greasy fists they forced him to receive anal from pygmy goats being diminutive animals, relish midget fucking and chocolate sundaes. On a cold afternoon in Sahara, Joe Strummer offered to wax my He-Man action figures. I told him that Moss Man would rather I maintain his moss. So instead we played on Sahara with various butt plugs 'til the moon shone upon my long and gigantic samurai sword. Fucksticks! Twirling tortilla chips in the hallway signaled our doom. While we munched on our enemies' reindeer antler churros they wept for our extinction. The corpses of babies rise and scream and kill all of my dreams about soft and slow smooth jazz, while incessantly crying. I shove saxophones into gym lockers out of sheer dissatisfaction with negative Jello microphone reviews and the Dewey Decimal System. The sycophantic troll dolls laugh at morons. Please, whenever you come across any unemployment benefit application, make sure to forward it to Johannesburg. There you have employment quotas up the ass. If you could find ethnic minorities that are better than overqualified whites to do jobs that are easy, just ignore them. Diggin up Jews is a far cry from digging the Zeitgeist album. Fuck that noise, because it doesn't give me the same throbbing erection as the masterpiece *NSYNC by *NSYNC.
Track Name: Sugapaptuch
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Track Name: Fog/Evasion
ooh it's ambient...*rolleyes*