[lyrics revised after the fact lol..] C Standard [C F A# D# G C]. key of Fm/D# so what you haven't resurrected so what i haven't yet perfected to distract our facts blind dueling hardly take it as i prescribe just as i prescribe just as i ascribe the acclimation will proceed according to my predestination and my need aspect the affect i'm receiving protract the innocence demeaning i feel your eyes are glaring at me always we fear what we cannot be and out wearing it out, my welcome changing your mind, not welcome that's not allowed in the game we play i'm speaking loud but you can't hear a word that i say look at me when i'm talking to you, you fucking queers and i don't mean homos i'm talking about the meaning which that means that you're fucking weird it means that and i so what to your appearance yeah yeah look at me i'm so funny

C Standard [C F A# D# G C] recording. can be played in any standard tuning. key of A. throw a pink packet in there throw a pink packet in there put a pink packet in there and stir it around put a pink packet in my tea put some pink packets up my ass put a pink packet in there and stir it around round round give me what i want give me what i want give me what i want you fucking bitch put a pink packet in the world, put a pink packet in the system, in the govt. 'll make it taste better it's saccharin but it makes me able to tolerate the taste of the bullshit bullshit bullshit that i see and hear and feel on a daily basis give me what i want give me what i want give me what i want you fucking bitch give me what i want give me what i want give me what i want you fucking bitch and everything will be alright

[lyrics revised after the fact again] E Standard [E A D G B E], or C Standard [C F A# D# G C] w/ capo on 4th. key of E if she calls tell her i'm not around handing down the sentence for daylight i'm stressed out, it's not important why i thought about just leaving idyllic acrylic listen to the hammers click undeserving of blame idyllic, it's making me sick cower in the closet til the demons go away i don't want to get involved in this bullshit motives weapons and alibis if it's not a problem i can solve i ignore it or at least i try thick brick walls enclosing a sleepy town filling their prescription for prozac peddle spades to dig up the holy land supplicate the phallus for handouts idyllic acrylic listen to the mad maniacs pander for a surrogate fate sight spectral light inhospitable power to the people if they ever get a fucking clue i don't wanna get involved in this bullshit that's my modus operandi now perhaps we can focus on the real culprit and put the bullet right between its eyes

C Standard [C F A# D# G C]. key of Cm scofflaws and cops protect me your diligence maintains me no chains or laws restrain me i am not dead retrace the maze of violence and history's despondence i'll meet you at the entrance i am not dead i hate you, i hate you, i hate you i am satan don't you dare try to get away don't you dare tell me what to say i don't care and i like it that way fire, burn, destruction, death hate, pain, sin and disrepute look in my eyes there's no disguise i'm red and i'm small i jump and i crawl i steal and i lie while you work and slave and pray and die i am satan

C Standard [C F A# D# G C]. key of A/Cm/C a single cloud slowing down to rain over me a single engine stalls, spirals down to crash in the sea sprained ankle from running through a meadow lovesick limbs break pulling out the petals too old to want to live on borrowed time to wallow and ache in a sidestep's wake where your first mistake becomes tragic fate ain't nothing you can take that's a given all the time so take a nap and network yeah for the sight of the place where they sing and fly and we don't have to live on borrowed time ooh, borrowed time, get in line you think you feel just fine i'm running out of this borrowed time not even sure who i borrowed it from in the first place

C Standard [C F A# D# G C]. key of Dm[rock] i see you, what you doin there i see you, what you doin there your name tag displayed it displays yo name i wanna see you tonight, wanna lick you i wanna see you tonight, i wanna dick you i wanna see you tonight i wanna stroke yo hair i wanna see you tonight hey baby don't you know i care ooh, see that name tag it's very obviously displayed for me to see oh i see that name tag, i want to get it on i see you, what you doin there i see you, what you doin there i see this name tag, i want you, to take it off i don't want other people knowing your name i dont' want other people playing this game that i play i don't want these people i see all around me that i don't know or understand what they're doing in this room with us this room was meant for only us this world was meant for only us it's ok, i'm perfectly sane i just want to take you away in a car, driving real far i wanna see you tonight, wanna lick you wanna dick you wanna get in your way, get in your face i wanna become a fixture in your life, pretty baby i wanna get in control of certain things that i perceive to be an obstruction to my plans these things must be eliminated if i am to proceed with my incompatibility that's really secretly what i want that's what my psychiatrist said anyhow maybe she's right, i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know

C Standard [C F A# D# G C]. key of A# don't play with your balls while you're supposed to be playing football don't play with your balls while you're supposed to be playing football keep one hand on the ball at all times don't keep one hand on your balls at all times i don't have any sympathy or any empathy for anyone who dares to try to balance these two disparate activities that you do take your hand off your nutsack for one goddamn second you fucking freak i really don't understand why you need to masturbate in front of the crowd it's not allowed for you to do these things allowed for you to be so strange allowed for you to do these things to me, to us, to the fans think about someone other than yourself keep your hands on the ball, not your balls you'll fumble the fucking ball you will fumble the fucking ball

C Standard [C F A# D# G C]. key of B depression, my friends, it's a problem today whether you're black or white, straight or gay it makes you write songs and pump your schlong when you know that no one is singing along it's a technical term that you may have learned it's defined, it's refined, it's confined, it's all mine it's such an unending pain in the ass constantly hoes and priests, crooks and police we're dying to be misunderstood doctors and patients, the driven and complacent the predilection is nascent and it's simply no good so suck suck suck my wood buy me some clothes and drugs and food give me a chance, don't judge me outright take off your pants and fuck me tonight oh, my love, i cast off the lies when i turn out the lights and plant my face between your thighs oh, my dear, the words i long to hear when the meaning is clear, that you want me near but the problem, you see, is i know it's not true it's entirely impossible and it's making me blue i'm depressed and i'm stressed and i'm caressing my breasts and i'm beating my chest like mark wahlberg in that terrible movie come on girl, do me, i need for you to screw me 100 times i need you to give me 100 dimes i need you to tell me some really good lies like i'm a good person who cares and tries and is deserving of something worthwhile oh oh oh it's clinically proven and it's very very very disconcerting

C Standard [C F A# D# G C]. key of C/E/C that was dumb that was dumb that was dumb that was dumb you are dumb you are dumb, as evidenced by your actions as evidenced by your actions when i look at you and i take stock of the things you do and the things you say i don't like what i see and think it's time for you to go away that was dumb that was dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb that was dumb that was dumb that was dumb, you, oh god i can't believe you did that how how is this i can't oh jeez really give me a break, oh god please come on now you're even worse than me ah ah what the what are you doing wha what the no no come on man cut it out cut it out put down the revolver oh no please don't aim the gun in my face please don't make me die i dont want to die today i have to get famous first, before i can die

C Standard [C F A# D# G C]. key of F/C# it's a shock to the system it's a shock to the system shock to the system it's a shock to the system please don't hit me with electrodes ahahahhhahghagh please don't hit me with electrodes please don't SHOCK ME SHOCK ME please don't hit me with electrodes please don't abbabbzzzbbz ahh it's a shock to the system it's a shock to the system ahhahahah it's a shock to the system it's a shock to the system ahahhahah please don't hit me with electrodes please don't hit me with electro-e-odes please don't hit me with those goddamn electrodes this is inhuman, inhuman i don't wanna get shocked i don't wanna die i don't wanna be electrocuted don't hit me with the cattle prod please don't

[panda is a cat, not a panda.] C Standard 1 to F [low-F F A# D# G C] find me a place to hide find me a place to die find me a place to cry ahhh ahhhh i've got a panda problem and i'm not even a real panda oh oh give me some motivation to put some effort into my life give me some motivation drink this high octane cocktail of gasoline you know what i mean won't you give it to me inspiration and motivation and all these things that i need cause i've this problem it's really getting out of hand it's really causing problems all across the land far and wide, land and sea, mtns and the rivers, and the oceans and the canyons and the great divide aliens are coming down from the sky they wanna see me burn in a thousand ways aliens are coming down from the sky the govt is trying to take it all away aliens are coming down from the sky they stole my girlfriend and they made me cry yeah oh yeah yeah

orca orca try not to get yourself eaten by an orca when you're swimming in the indian ocean and you're brimming with something like a heartfelt emotion beware the expressions you might give when the feeling arrives that armageddon is nigh that the world has run its course and its purpose not so clearly defined don't tell me how to live cause my life is still my own and my choices can bring to bear a certain hell of their own in the form of a proverbial beast whose logic swims faster to feast on your head, you stupid prick your time is up cause there's an orca orca try not to get yourself eaten by an orca you've got no chance to survive cause he's coming for you no chance to survive yeah your life is through your time is up and i'm rejoicing at the prospect of seeing your blood strewn across the ocean by an orca try not to get yourself eaten, yeah by an orca!

D Standard [D G C F A D] or C Standard [C F A# D# G C]. key of D he's in the he's in the he's in the drugstore and what the hell is he doing, i can't see his hands i think he's shoplifting some fucking drugs cause that's what you find there i'm really not surprised at this turn of events don't you want everything that you can find don't want to fuck me in the behind he's in the he's in the he's in the alley and he's got money in his hand he's in the back of my car i don't really know but i think he's gonna take me real far he's gonna make me a star i know you, you see what i've got and you know that i've got this talent inherent in my ability to whine whine whine whine whine whine whine i like to whine i like to take these pills and stuff em down guzzle lots of alcohol and hope that i drown i see the purpose of life and it's often very depressing and makes me want to die oh no, oh no, oh yes

D Standard [D G C F A D] or C Standard [C F A# D# G C] w/ capo on 2nd. key of G agriculture break the soil aggroculture hate starts to boil agriculture till that land aggroculture hung upside down over quicksand agriculture make a stride tell me what to be and help me die come on come on won't you set me free i never want to need i never want to breed levers bend, clitoris distend much praise you'll receive the life will end, the lies will bend it all for me make it mean something important agriculture break the soil aggroculture hate starts to boil it's boiling it's boiling omg no!

D Standard [D G C F A D] or C Standard [C F A# D# G C] w/ capo on 2nd key of C i work for a private firm where our privates are always firm we'll fuck our clients for no additional fee you'll find our rates quite competitive on my desk you'll find dates laced with seditives we want to keep you calm so you can make informed decisions about your legal options your financial future depends upon it my mouth and my cock will get you wet you slam it down and recite the penal code i promise you won't regret you need an appointment, my secretary will set it she'll also suck on your nips while i'm going to town while i'm going down on you it's just something i have to do there's nothing wrong with mixing business and pleasure as long as it's diligently recorded in my ledger hump hump

D Standard [D G C F A D]. key of Am seeping into the public consciousness an aquatic dysfunction making a hell of a mess i pray to your sensibilities to make it stop stop stop there's water and sweat pouring forth in gallons from the trees and rocks and the eagle's talons there's something that's just not right which is occurring my cats don't like it, they have completely stopped purring we're gonna drown if we don't find a way to stop this insanity and make it go away oh baby it's like noah's ark all over again john f. kennedy's come back from the dead jesus won't you put him where he belongs i already tried but he's become much too strong he's deflecting my directed-energy weapons he's got a kitana and he wants to cut off my fucking dong please don't let him succeed heal the world and kill john f. kennedy once and for all once and for all kill jfk once and for all

D Standard, 1 to C [drop C] [C G C F A D] well versed in the art of deception, under rehearsed in the art of conception watch this get like zero views but ha, ha ha ha ha so anyway like yeah, you are nothing, absolutely nothing at all in should you be of service to a dancing banana that'll make you more knowledgeable about krog a clyde a snack a smurf ski jumpin' snack de la rosa, FUENTAHOYA, i am the fucking god of your life your life is meaningless therefore so am i, or am i? perhaps this is all a cruel joke playing by me on yourself because, you see there isn't a reason for me to life to live my life, there's no reason at all, there's no reason to live or die only what you want, do what you want, alright america welcomes you now go home eat nails and die diecast motorfuel-spitting gumball machines in the penthouse of your shame welcome to the last day of your first second day thing minute krog this end is a beginning the moment is the only "thing" where you are is where you are, an astounding revelation what you think is where you are, what you want is where you are location, there is nothing but location loversale i'm not on sale but you can have me on a day like tomorrow but you see that means never cause there isn't one no no no yes yes yes back forward left right up down close far here there everything is everything love equals reality do you understand what i mean, i don't know if you do you probably just pass it off as some whimsical bullshit that brandon is saying cause he always is saying whimsical bullshit like that remotely queued hobo hedgehog, multiple investment javelina circle jerk act your age, distract your rage, you lack a gauge, your advice is not very SAGE leave this heart as it be, lying in a box filled with misery lying at the thought of losing sleep and i'm dying over thoughts of marshmallow peeps pullover crossover electric, dance whore dance while i chug antiseptic goldmine is fine, it's a fine fucking design to unwind you tell the time it's a crime, tell the time it's a time tell the crime it's a mime, i wanna get with you is that ok and i'm getting in line with your mind, time to erase it, get it now? get it now? time to replace it, get it....how? time to displace it timed to deface it, time to eliminate it, oh oh oh oh oh dance whore dance, when i'm feeling down dance whore dance, shake your body around dance whore dance while you still have time for soon you will be dead, oh my goodness, oh my manufacture rivals, worshiping false idols bow down to high dollar whores, bow down to high dollar whores ad campaigns become commandments open your eyes, see the light, god is all around, overhead underground money is paper, time is infinite, i get uglier by the day i've never had anything to say, all i want is to disappear all i want is to hold you near don't touch me