by Brandon Edge

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This started out as a project to release a song every day in 2014. I had a lot of unfinished songs lying around and I thought this might motivate me to get some of it done [I did also write several of these the day they were uploaded. Generally speaking, if it sounds like I did it in 10 minutes, that was probably the case]]. A fellow Pumpkinhead friend of mine from Chicago, Matt Sams [ mattsams.bandcamp.com ] said he was going to do a 365 song-a-day project [check out his bandcamp, he seems to be actually doing it!]. I, however, lost the motivation and stopped at 100 tracks [and I was cheating anyway since he is writing them all on the days he records them]. So since I wouldn't have the sort of Guinness Book of Records novelty of writing/recording/releasing a song a day for a year, and I'm lazy, and the quality of my output was becoming rather ....shit... I figured it was best to abandon this project and focus on doing songs someone might actually want to hear.


released August 7, 2014



all rights reserved


Brandon Edge Texas

Austin, TX-based songwriter. 30 albums avail. on bandcamp or elsewhere [youtube & mediafire]. All downloads are FREE or name- your-price! See my FB artist page [linked below] for full discog and links to almost all of my music [click the "about" tab then click "see more" under where it says "description"] ... more

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Track Name: The Official DMB Owl Meets the Tweakin' Greeks
tweakin' greeks, they're coming for me
tweakin' greeks, they won't let me be
tweakin' greeks, they're on pcp, and methamphetamine
oh no
tweakin' greeks, they smoke lots of dope
tweakin' greeks, they climb lots of rope
tweakin' greeks, they drink lots of coke
which contains no aspartame
when the pressure of stress is gnawing
and the day of the dead is dawning
the bird of justice will awaken with talons that are clawing
tweakin' greeks, we're locked in the dome
tweakin' greeks, it's the only home we've ever known
you're questioning me? well you don't know what i've seen
tweakin' greeks, they're learning to fly
tweakin' greeks, they're helping me die
do you think you can cry for the love i've been denied?
when the light of the world is dimming
and the knives of greeks are skinning
the love birds start descending
the best days of our lives are beginning
the odds in our favor for winning
hey man, do you wanna do some pills or something?
claw their eyes out, like an owl would!
Track Name: Motormouth
it's time to reap the consequences of your actions
it's gotta get inside your brain
do you understand the things that i'm trying to say
i'm feeling the pain, i'm feeling some strain
i've gotta think of something to fucking say
ooh, lotta weird sounds, makin' weird sounds
and you're gonna listen, now
i can't move my mouth, can't move my mouth
i can't move my mouth, blabity-blah blah blah
i can't move my mouth, i can't talk anymore
oh what's the problem today
can't talk, i can't write this song
i'm having problems, they're coming along swimmingly
i can't move my mouth, my telephone is ringing
won't you come to my house
and tell me what it's all about
i've got a fucking motormouth
and it keeps moving/talking
every time i look at your face
lexmark is a person, lexmark is a person
you might think it's a printer, but it's not
suck my wood
come down come down come down to my
come down come down to
come down to the bottom of the ...equilibrium
it'll explain itself to you in time
you see the chords i play, you know the games i..play
i'm gonna give you some head
lexmark is coming down
lexmark is coming to town
coming to town
coming to town
to meet up with the people who think like we do
(and kill you)
it's a band of geniuses that think like we do
(snort the drugs)
oh yeah it's time to...
your mother was a fag hag, a fag
your mother was a fag hag, a fag
your mother was a fag hag, a fag
your mother was a fag hag, a fag
your mother was a fag hag, a fag
your mother was a fag hag, a fag
keep your mouth shut, you motormouth slut
get on my butt, i kinda like to strut
no WD40 needed, no WD40
you let yourself down
you open the package they give you some money
you open the package bitch
a guard is bringing the prisoners to you
the children are reading the books
i'm giving you sth, sth that can grant your wish
you're telling me lies, musicians are fucked in the head
the fishermen will catch the fish
i want to teach you things about science, science
i'm not a journalist but i can make you dinner, uh huh
you are a slut, and i can get you some coffee, coffee
yeah i really really really like to spend your money now
now nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
gimme my hat back man, i need a hat
fuckin hat, hat hat hat hat hat hat hat hat hat hat hat hat hat
please, sir, won't you, give me my, hat back
i only have one hat, you see
it's my favorite hat
Track Name: You Got My Coke
[a lot of the words were taken from fb posts by AL and Cinnamon Swirl, who are both chicks]

yeah, you got my coke, you got my coke, YOU GOT MY COKE
artificial cherry anything is nasty as fuck
hey brandon write a song called 'cherry cola tastes like balls in the summertime'
this shit doesn't work right
i wish i was famous like Adam Duritz is, so you would suck my wood
i post Billy Corgan lyrics so that you will love me
that chord change wasn't very good but i'm sticking with it now
oh lord, what have i unleashed? as long as you don't keep singing about your pussy
oh lord, what have i unleashed? as long as you don't keep singing about your pussy
didn't see anything regarding coke or pizza there
you didn't reference anything that i wanted to hear, no no no no
i don't know if i accept the world as it is today
but i know that i should keep on existing so you can listen to
my stupid dumbass fucking emo-ass songs, emo songs
post bomb
you cunt, you post bombed me and your, none of you are as cool as Jimmy Smits in the movie "Running Scared" when he said "you got my coke!"
tastes like balls in the summertime
coke is emo, drinking coke will give you diabetes
and that will make you even more emo than you were before
Billy Corgan looks like an egg, man
this can keep on going or it can stop now, it's your choice, ugh
Track Name: Eschew
you've suffered long indoctrination, furnished houses new
bought back innocence and wonder, oblivion eschewed
never fail to answer or to question all the things they say
it's remarkable, it's great...it's you
fulfilling the hopes of the tiniest minds
expecting returns along diminishing lines
their forests of green whisper glistening lies
to tempt and charm you, and this should alarm you
but do you think you can eschew
are you ready to bang with my crew, ee-oo
do you think that you can screw
and leave behind the life you once knew
a brand new set of principles to preach
another sort of stockpile you can leech
floating through the ether i beseech
the many speckled dockers thus to breach
the many speckled dockers thus we preach
cobble like a panther in the jungle
fancied indecision leads to hunger
resurrect your interest for a moment
diplomacy diplomacy diplomacy diplomacy
soluble religions that dissolve quite nicely
presidents and regents will condone my actions
state your case into my face you bastard
pop me like a cooter do it faster
are you ready to bang with my crew, ee-oo
do you think that you can screw
and leave behind the life you once knew
i rest my case, i rest it oh so faintly
i test your etiquette, you will act so dainty
i'm operating on cigarettes and alcohol, mainly
i'm hoping somehow this will make you love me
this will make you love me this will make you love me
eakin out a meager existence
finding what we need in this resistance
bash the heads of those who disagree
find new energy sources, plant those trees
plant those trees, plant those trees
do you think you can eschew
do you think you can eschew
i know you can eschew, i know you can eschew eschew
do you think you can eschew
are you ready to bang with my crew, ee-oo
well do you think that you can screw
and leave behind the life you once knew
Meg Ryan Squirrel wants a cashew
Meg Ryan Squirrel needs a cashew!
Track Name: Gondola
do you wanna take a ride on a gondola
going to the other side of reality
don't you know it's time to DIE on a gondola
we'll be floating down on the river styx
you know your destination is fixed
nothing left to steal nothing left to sell
cause now you're going straight to HELL
i'll laugh as demons stab you with their burning rods
as you scream and beg for mercy to your favorite gods
melting flesh and boiling blood
he's gonna make my dreams come true
all that's left for you is to fucking suffer suffer cry
scream die, and then do it all again!
blahblahblah satan burn in hell die mar rar hail satan ok?
Track Name: Suede Without the "E"
well i was hanging out in the parking lot after the prom
i was wearing a nice blue dress that belonged to my mom
when a van pulled up blasting loud grunge rock
when the side door opened i saw nothing but cock
i was scared as hell as the fear rushed over me
they tied me with twine and gave me some wine
they took me to a warehouse in 20 minutes time
put me inside a ring of fire
as i began to cry
for the song had started to play
and there was nothing left to say
all i could do was wait, wait and see, as the events unfolded
and their resolve emboldened as i was thinking of a way
to get free

a shirtless man appeared on the scene
he said "my name is weiland and i hold a degree in philosophy"
and that he'd like to get close to me
he swung from a chain and demanded that i lick his nuts
i told him i was trying and that he should stay still
because a body in motion stays in motion
until acted upon by an opposing force
then out of the corner of my eye i saw another guy
he was wearing a loincloth and looking like a caveman
i couldn't figure out what this was all about
he stood up and said politely
"my name is kevin and i like to dance
do you want i should beat this weiland nance?"
i said ok, and he pulled out a club
he hit weiland in the nuts...and i guess that was enough to distract him
while kevin pissed on the flames
we got into the van and got it on w/ no shame
i like to fuck cavemen and party with cocaine
but the weiland creep took it a little too far
he shouldn't have messed with me
now weiland and his band are gonna learn the meaning of
suede without the "e"
Track Name: Speaker of the House
i'm gonna gitcha gitcha, i wanna lick ya lick ya
it's really interesting to watch me die
entice me, our railroad, escort me, to jail, ho
in parentheses an exodus that leaves with no fanfare
centered in pestilence avoiding the glare
of repetitious mongrel attache
tax the spherical maximize empirical sordid expression
to rock the genitalia of a princess, uh huh
for exactly 30 minutes!
cursing lovers and screaming boredom
and dreaming felt enough by demeaning the razors of ellis
ivy covers the trellis, laissez-faire no speaka spanish
i sent the prefect to prison
that's the matter of recourse, suck the stipend in sequence
fix the website so i can obtain a thousand new groupies to RAM
i need to ram a groupie, a-ram ram a groupie
so i can feel like a man
presents are wrapped on the ground
jesus and satan both approve of my sound
i'm leaving behind the rarities if you please
and i think i can cure your emo disease
so what's up? i've got a hundred bucks
can i get a blowjob and possibly a few used books
that's a prospect i accept cause i am officially bored as hell
there's a bed that we can use at the nearest motel
there's a cockatoo that whistles cause it's just as well
we'll be flailing and impaling and assailing til dawn
scamping dampening clamping like the claws of the prawn
it'll be an excursion in rampant perversion, perversion
perversion, perversion
nothing finer than shacking up with a miner
and by miner i don't mean under 18
i mean the kind that dig shit up for money
that's right a female miner would be preferred
but no qualified applicants will be deterred
from the position i need to fill
and that would be to suck my dill
the cat is on the grill
would you like some hardcore evidence of my awesomeness?
it's right in front of your face
would you like some hardcore evidence of my awesomeness
of my awesomeness of my awesomeness
it's no surprise that i'm planning your demise
cause i'm god, god, god, god, god, god, god, goddddddddd
but i need a new groupie to RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM
i couldn't follow that chord change
i just want it to be known that i want to fucking ram a groupie
ram ram ram ram ram RAM RAAAAAM
i want to ram YOU whoever you are
if you're listening to this song then you'll know that i'm talking to you
because i am clairvoyant, i have a sixth sense
but it really doesn't make no sense no it don't
i see things in my mind, oh no
would you please proffer me some contraband
in the form of chemicals
i want to get high, i want to do lots of drugs and lick your eye
i want to suck on your eye, suck on your eye
i will suck on your EYE I WILL SUCK ON YOUR EYE
cause i am the speaker of the house
Track Name: Sound Off (Das Tschuly II)
sound off, lie low
get lost, go where you want to go
restraint, fall back
contain the constant urge to hack hack hack
pissed off, insane
no patience left to play all these games
destroy, sex tape
don't want that stuff to get out and escape

eloquent distraction try to get me off my ass
and do the things that i'm supposed to do
where can we find happiness the flashpoint of desire

improve the transcript, communicate without the fear
of being misunderstood and judged an asshole
with no chance to really speak your mind
you've got two choices one to live and one to die

austria is interesting cause hitler was from there
he killed a lot of people and he had weird facial hair
i've got a problem with das tschuly
she's much too far away
but if she was in front of me i don't know what i'd say

i hate when people call me "guy" it makes me nuts
i refuse to pronounce a J like a Y
if i can call you julia then i guess that you're allowed to call me guy
don't wanna be misunderstood and judged an asshole
where can we find happiness, the flashpoint of desire
eloquent distraction killing me so, i've got no chance to speak my mind, no
i got two choices, i'm so misunderstood, oh suck my wood!

am i alive

i don't trust you!

distrust, of clones
i rust like a disused garden hoe
your love, is gold
i'll conquer whatever i need to to make it grow
sound off, ransack
release me from the panic attack contract
i'll kiss your feet
i'll leave this fleeting thought incomplete
where can we find happiness, the flashpoint of desire
improve the transcript, communicate without the fear
of being misunderstood and judged an asshole
with no chance to really speak your mind
you've got two choices one to live and one to die
not gonna die just yet, sorry to disappoint you
Track Name: Stand-by
words are no match for feelings
they haven't even got a clue about the deeper meaning
we could be forever
goldmine encyclopedia, quest for the ever-changing truth
read on to make it worth the time you've lost together
hope standing by, until first light arrives, won't you invite, hope standing by
i wouldn't need to own you
no use denying your true self
so practice your aikido and fly like a buzzy beetle
i try to make you happy
that's what i think about a lot while i'm burning down cathedrals
all for you my weasel
love standing by, until it's something close to right
shoes with no ties, love standing by
Track Name: Pathetic Ceremony (Let's Do This Thing)
it's so painful to leave the one you love behind
no one needs that kind of heartache in their life
the rest of your life is filled with days
like writing lyrics to a song when you've got nothing else to say
please console me please don't scold me
the world has brought and sold me
and now i'm damaged goods
there's something pure, it's misunderstood, in my subconscious
something that would disturb your conscience
it's called the ability to tell the truth
and it makes me feel important til i remember that i'm not
pick axe pick axe, it's kicking my ass
pick axe pick axe, no wonder i blast
holes in whatever i can find with whatever projectile
weapon i can find, my love is blind
my soul is confined in a chamber of horrors
of which i'll periodically remind you
it's imparative that imbue a sense of doom
drugging all the children in the village before hand
so they won't be awake and causing mass panic
cause that's what pagan children do
we have the wooden phallus and the olive oil to screw
so let the ceremony begin
i'll hold you over my head with one hand
i have the strength of a wolf or possibly 2
there's no escape for you so just give in
and find me some groupies to ram
whether it be a miss or ma'am
i don't really give a damn
as long as i can ram ram ram ram ram ram ram ram ram ram ram ram ram
Track Name: Can't Stay in a Cage
[much as it appeared on a 9/99 jambox tape, basically tried to copy that. not really possible cause i was in some very weird state of mind when i did that and a few other sketches on that tape, but my voice is totally screwed today so i figured i'd give it a shot, rec'd 1/11/14]

god help me i'm thinkin about takin you away
to some place i can help
yeaaaah yess i
can't stay in a cage, whats wrong w/ me
what i want...cannot BE
what i wanna be is gone up a tree
and if i oh i wanna call on the phone, I CAN'T!
cause i dont got what, its all fucked
i cant see the light because i cant find the door
because i cant turn it on, yeah i cant find the ..thing
cause I CAN'T!!
baby baby do you wanna have some fun
baby baby don't you know i'm the only one
baby baby i wrote this song for you
baby baby, you know i loooooooove yooooou yeah
Track Name: Time to Kill
[total improv. disclaimer: i don't actually wish harm on the president, or homosexuals. in fact i think both are pretty cool for the most part. i am a bit pissed at these mechanics who've had my car for 2 wks and haven't even given me an estimate yet, despite telling me they would call me back twice.]

lyrics..eh...gettin angry...time to kill...you get the picture
Track Name: You Might Bite
your distrust of my genitalia
makes me nervous if you need to go down
you might bite
your distrust of the way i do things
makes me nervous and it complicates things
you might fight
i was destined to be a monarch
celebrate my assertations henceforth
i will strike, i will kill, i will reign, blood will spill
blood will spill
your distrust of my administrative choices
will lead to civil unrest
gaining a foothold for a revolution strike
that's the thing that i'm trying to avoid now
i know the way to live, i'm not a boy now
leave me to my own devices and sit back down please
you might bite, you might fight
you might be the one that's gonna stop me now
no one no one no one gonna stop me now
stop me now
Track Name: His Master's Voice
get blown get blown get fucking blown i want to get blown
i get so crazy then i push it away cause it hurts sometimes
and i'd like to get blown before i die
don't want to be infected with that plague of hopeless desire and jealous pride
the ancient fear will let you die, so that's it then, i'm just not good enough
i can deal with that but you have to say it
you want to know can we still be friends
i'm not sure cause my love never ends, it'll never end
it's based on stupid shit that exists in my mind
that i can't forget no matter how i try
music music i'm so fucking sick of it
die by me shooting you on a fucking astral plane
eat a cactus, drink the hemlock
death to your philosophical tenets and
penetrate your eyeballs with sharp objects
and replace with cotton balls
cold hands of innocence cradle the handle and the barrel as it blasted
you meant a lot to me you meant a lot to me you meant a lot to me yeah
inkblots and pressing thoughts the fear descends on her headdress
the master's voice is deafening as the guilt dissolves my heart
remnants of the cross are paid in full distrust
awkward stare of the crevice flare cause the airplane to combust
on the ground, all the slaves wallow in the broken blackened waste
sorrow sprinkled splintered toxic dust, dust, dust, dust
you and your ways have made me a slave
you and your ways have made me kind of boring
it's all your fault that my life is destroyed
it's all your fault that i'm totally annoyed
all dna ever needed to do is make copies of itself. left to its own devices all that would exist on this planet would be little naked molecules of dna, we are nothing more than the accumulation of its mistakes
generated randomly and guided by natural selection
Track Name: Oddcats
[lyrics: some real words, some fake words]
Track Name: The Official Linkin Park Mole Meets Prince Charles
charlie, sold his soul
party, rock and then roll
army, army of jews
sorry, they're coming for you!
try not to be so bloody charming
try to be conscious of the carving
i don't belong inside this palace
i miss when i could be so callous
we can define in a heartbeat your new role
my mind is racing my heart is black as coal
because i am the official linkin park mole
aces high
awkward sentinel parses the blight
paces, 20 at dawn
faceless, trapped in the song
what a conundrum for the scholars
panic disaster forest fire
manic imposter forcing dire
consequences for the liars who ignore the
issue that persists in all the peasants' minds
a fitting fate for royalty most unkind
like i've cultivated individuality
the soldiers building campfires always laughing
no morals, no mercy for prince charles
see you in hell
charlie, moles will assail and bid you death
i'll finance the war
log split heart attack is what you afford
chilling, no feelings
as you're ripped apart by my claws!
Track Name: Smokescreen
a party to my parlor games
you've always been a slave it seems
our purposes exposed at last
one flicker of light and then it's passed
a service approved and then appropriated for the ones
who can endure the constant shame
and aren't afraid of guns guns guns guns
constant distress
constant distrust
transgressions confessed
options discussed
patent the pain, full court press
i'm not impressed but i'm playing all the same
aren't you happy, at peace in this smokescreen
hypnotised, an expense devised
imagination fuels that power play
hours and days, adding up atrocity
straights and gays, uninhibited hypocrisy
they're leading us on, righting the wrong
so we besiege, unto the breach, unto the love we found
inside the sound now, alright, it's ready to be engaged
i found the slaves that i need, are you one of them
solemn place on the rise in the face
i know you can die
[it'll take] some time to rise, reclaim your life from this smokescreen
ever after is on my agenda, in this smokescreen
in the forest elves are organising
and that's why i'm happy again
we're crashing the party
political parties, they're going down
hear the bombs, it's a horrible sound
i'm ready to fight, i'm ready to reclaim my life
i'm ready to go to hell, yeah!
meet me in hell, i like to feel the fires of hell
burning inside my soul, yeah alright rock and roll
fires of hell are burning and...
somethin' really interesting's goin' on!
Track Name: TV Land
i've been summoned by a deity i dare not understand
drawn into a fearsome catastrophic change of plans
into a strangely populated land of frightening plays
in the evening when the darkness takes over what it can
little ghosts and goblins come and take you by the hand
and take you to a place they call tv land
i'm what they call the white man i'll have you understand
i'm something to observe, when i'm running with my clan
i've got the dick the size of a thimble and i'm nimble
like rush limbaugh
have you ever seen him leap, it's an astounding feat
he can fall 30 stories and still land on his feet
it's uncanny, to see the fanny act like a parachute
you know that i'm a creep like a mouse i'm known to squeak
it's true that i'm boring and a useless waste of space
but never mind that, hand over your territory and promptly DIE
i'm white and i've got tv, how can you say you're better than me
that's not possible, you see, i've got the documents and the case law to prove my worth to the last penny, to the last dime
don't you dare interfere with my crime, with my campaign of hate and fear
i will fly up behind you on a broomstick and yell in your ear
"hey people, get ready for the revolution" that's my solution
witchcraft and racism, go hand in hand
television is a big part of our master plan
underneath our white skin lie the scales of a reptile
it's a devious scheme we've been devising for quite a while
in fact it goes back to the beginning of time
when adam and eve committed their first unholy crime
i was there, and part of me has never left the scene
cause my sinful existence allows me to transcend time
i can be two places at once, oh it's oh so sublime
i can stab your god with a pitchfork while i'm reading the 6 o'clock news live on the scene
it's a live report, we've got our reports in hand
to add to the stack of fucking bullshit
everywhere you look the conspiracy is transparent
in saudia arabia, or at the table with your parents
there's no fucking escape so just give in to the plan
there's no escape, so won't you just give in to the white man's plan
and we'll all live happily ever after in tv land
yeah, yeah, yeah
change it, this sucks, change it, this sucks, change it
grow a fucking brain, there's no such thing as a fucking shapeshifting reptile, there's only a bunch of greedy humans
monkeys with larger brains, or so i'm told
that's what they tell me in school
yeah, charles darwin, knew what the fuck was going on, yes he did
yeah won't you suck my dong, my fucking dong
while i'm singing this song, suck my dong while i'm singing this song
in tv land we know the things that make you happy
we've got all our research in hand, and we can take it from here
back to you, bob
Track Name: A Little Bit of Alcohol
just a little bit of alcohol can make your mind so impervious
just a little bit of alcohol can make your time so enjoyable
refrain from demeaning, i'm scared of the ceiling
dried out purity intention quelled
cycle through to rinse my blissful ignorance
embrace reality of trees i've felled
i don't have to feel my heart
i don't have to play guitar
i don't have to love you so
just a little bit of alcohol
to forget about it all
off track, life depleted
pitch black and receded
wallow in the heartless postured sound
shoot down truth and beauty
gliding gracefully and crashing
mercilessly to the ground
perhaps i can blame society
i don't have to be a star
i don't have to fix this car
i don't have to love you so
just a little bit of alcohol
we'll be bouncin' off the wall
just a little bit of alcohol
to forget about it all
Track Name: Inventors (of the Clock, Lesbianism, and Faster than Light Travel)
i am the man who invented the first clock
yet you don't even know my name
you won't return my everlasting affection for you
i assume it's because you don't understand the value of love
of time and space and the things that bind us together as human beings
i've invented the clock, and now you can be on time
you can put on your socks and shoes and socks and go make a dime
you be anything that you want to be, and of course it's all because of me
because i am the man who invented the first clock
clock, first clock

we are the girls, we are the girls who invented lesbianism
it's not known the year in which we lived, as you see we lived before the days
of calendars and clocks and such, we knew so little yet spoke so much
and it brought us great joy to exchange sexual favors
and bake lots of goodies to munch
yes we were ready for anything
we were ready for anything the world might throw at us
but the fact is that wealth is never sufficient
you must give in to the lust you feel
the lust you feel is such a fire that rages like molten steel
when it cools it's hard and strong and sturdy
supporting the trains and buildings of centuries to come
centuries to come centuries to come

we are the crew that invented faster than light travel
now man can traverse the galaxy as he once did rocks and gravel
there's a lot to be said which can't be put into words
the poetry of science isn't something that you learn
it exists in the genes, and their sequenced devotions
the heavier elements resulting from stellar explosions
we cast off the ignorance of centuries past
we spurn and despise incorporeal bombast
as we glide and disperse and quote chapter and verse
from the scriptures of the physical universe
we explore we explore and implore build bridges open doors
discover structures of other worlds containing hundreds of floors
and alien lifeforms that scurry and scamp
worlds arid and dry, humid and damp
it's fascinating and most intriguing
to hear aliens speaking, and to taste a lesbian's genitals as they are leaking, as they are leaking
to look at a clock and to trust in its expenditure
to question immortality as a way of getting things done
and then of course to give in because it's all about me
i am the only one that matters and i must live indefinitely
there's no such thing as shame anymore
there's no such thing as shame anymore
there's no such thing as money
we have what we need, the resources to feed
the human population as it continues to breed
that's something to behold as i'm sure that you're aware
and for reasons unbeknownst, thou shalt give not a care
for time and space and homosexuality chaste
will forever be cataloged on my immortal face
on my immortal face
i catalog the infinite, i will invent the spaceship
i will taste the lesbian, i will show you the clock that keeps time perfectly
we glide, we disperse, the genitals never need to rehearse
they know what they're in for, they know what to do
we can scurry and scamp and make life difficult for you, for you
because we are the inventors
inventors, the inventors, the inventors
Track Name: Attitude
[total improv, 5/6/13.]

call me in the morning, call me in the night
call me in the afternoon and i'll try to act right
call me when you're feeling blue and call me when you're high
call me when you get some news and call me when you die
i need to get through to you, don't blame it on my attitude
take me to a party, take me to the moon
take me where you feel like takin' me, just say you'll take me soon
go forth and multiply, and go forth and cry
go to the place where you gotta go, just hurry up and decide
i need to get through to you, don't blame me or my attitude
ow ow ow ow
jesus won't you save me, peter won't you try
i think that i've been good to the world, and i've, got, eyes
i want to make you happy, i won't make you cry
i won't do anything at all, just say you're mine...noww....
i need to get through to you
don't blame me, for my attitude
Track Name: Too Tired/Pee Manual
[improv, 1/23/14...]
Track Name: Simulated Hard-On
i've been simulated, i no longer exist
i release you from your pain, whoa
don't get a hard-on if it's not for real
i only want real...[etc]
Track Name: Of Beast and Man
you were very prescient, when you said that i was dead
now i feel invincible, i am simply incredible
watch me move and see me glide
i prance across the mountainside
i shall now go to belize, feel the warmth of a tropical breeze
while the plants can make me sneeze
there's an abundance of terrestrial and marine species
with which i can deftly communicate
and instruct at once to congregate
we only have so much time, and then it's over and then we die
so do what you will while you can
experience the glory of beast and man
when i was a wee small lad, i volunteered to be totally rad
i wore the clothes i sung the songs
i taught american society its rights and wrongs
how they thanked me when they saw the imminent strike of the tiger's claw
surreptitious make believe, fanciful and distasteful greed
how they pride themselves upon their affinity for mind control
wear your heart upon your sleeve, but take care not to be deceived
we only have so much time, and then it's over and then we die
so do what you will while you can
experience the glory of beast and man
i'm tellin' you man, it's a glorious world out there!
Track Name: Find It in Your Heart
[1/26/14...lyrics completely improv'd, and terrible!]
Track Name: Final Distress
[lyrics: 1999 mostly, w/ a few words changed, music: rec'd 2006 i think. vocals: 1/27/14]

looking at girls in their common threads
i turn a blind eye to the sun in the sky
i insist on losing, begging, terminal
space junk floating debris of me
goodness gracious love is contagious
i shouldn't stand so close to someone as sick as you
terminal begging, looking so obviously desperate
life surrounds, satellites don't mince metaphors
autumn leaves auburn leaves falling all around my head
on a soft forest floor with love in my eyes
i roll to the side and look to the sky, so blue, and you lying still
and nothing is a problem but the nightfall, i haven't got a light, and it's
a long way home
flowing hair glowing eyes, joy to hear of what you don't know
in and out of another gray cave, starving for you
haven't eaten for days, failing feeling so demeaning
stumble through the haze
suffer from erasure, time is displaced
i'm lost in love i'm lost in...
one last woman to sail the ships for
2 voices: one does the other's purest will
find no comfort, standing walking sleeping
watching the world playing the songs always alone
but i know soon
it will be the final distress
i will meet the end of my unrest
often offering seldom received
often preaching seldom believed
harvest is plenty the laborers few
that is why i'm so in love with you
give and take
give and take
give me your love for heavens sake
"when will i be free"
"don't ask"
your inquiry is pointless and green
we don't plan these things for a reason
they're just what comes naturally
Track Name: Ram Request
[vocals (except the last bit at the end): 2007. first FL part: 2013, 2nd FL part: 2010? i think. compiled/fooled with 1/28/14]

[lyrics: again, it's nothing worth typing out.]
Track Name: Just Visiting
too bad my invitation came and went unused
so sad your visitation had to end so soon
maintain my innocence of purpose and of mind
the drawback of common sense is that it's so hard to find
essence omnipotent, omniscient and ever-present in my heart
so i'll continue to cherish my regret 'til death do us part
so reluctant to disclose the habit thoughts, the pain you've wrought
piss on the purest unencumbered thought crimes
don't you know it all, and arise and forgo all?
you never reach out for my lost soul
remember sitting beside me, a table seating two
i used to know all that i wish i'd said to you
your virtue isn't greed or malice and not blithe
you were just visiting the jail where i'm serving life
so despondent but resolved to be myself, to speak my thoughts
piss on the purest unencumbered thought crimes
don't you know it all, and arise and forgo all?
i wish you'd reach out for my lost soul
Track Name: Wake Up and Smell the Evolution
if i release you, will you be alright
so far we've seen the eloquent distraction of all things
hold fast to me, i'll comfort you in times of need
give in to grace, forgive your certain fate
no cause to please the forebears of disease
to silent speech, heuristic aphorism that shields my peace
ghost harbor freeze, trapped beneath the ice we're floating free
so far so good, no chance of a flood
step back and witness superb examples of evolution!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my little freakazoids!
save me from myself, i feel so unwell
protect all my dreams, and force me to be at peace
to press on, my sweetest love
Track Name: I'm Unique (Kill Me Soon)
[mostly improv, 1/31/14]

everyone's trying to tell me about these sluts
but no one's willing to help me when i need to get fucked
if you're not gonna help me find some cooch
stick a knife in my neck real soon
hey baby won't you kill me please
hey baby i'm down upon my knees
i see that you've got another man
someone who can fulfill your plans
but he isn't the same as i am
i am unique
i can do many things you know
but those things you need, i don't know
you gotta tell me what they are
or i can't do much
and i can't even rhyme to the fuckin' lines i'm tryin' to
it's true, i do, wanna screw, pretty baby, aw haw
pretty baby, yip yip yaw
i need to get some if you please
these chords seem to go together even though i can't always sing the right words or the right notes
everyone's trying to tell me to write a song
write some words that aren't bullshit and we just might sing along
if you're not gonna help me write this tune
stick a knife up your ass real soon
if you're not gonna help me find some cooch
stick a knife in my head
stick a knife in my head
stick a knife in my head
and kill me
kill me
kill me
kill me
kill, kill, kill, kill
kill, kill, kill, kill
kill kill kill kill kill, kill kill
365 songs is a lot of songs
if you're listening to this song you must not have too many better things to do, or even things that might not be better, but still possibly less annoying than this
Track Name: Bad Checksum
leave your drawers at the door
we have adequate heating and cleaning supplies
rocking out is paramount, we can treat you like an animal and tell you no lies
i don't know when to stop, my feelings can't easily be segregated
or defined as such, indicative of those with head up butt
i'll be your lover, under the covers
i'll be attentive to your physical features
i can see in the dark like a forest creature
i'll stimulate your ridges and mounds
i'll take you down the road to many different towns
celebrate, inflate your secret desires
make perimeter fence w/ CHICKEN WIRE
so you have ideas you like, imposed on you or sought out at great strife
you may think as some do that it's the only way
that you have to conform til your final day
i believe in freedom of choice, peace of mind in the freedom of voice
don't let your words get tangled, your dreams curtailed
if you don't know how to listen, then you've already failed
get your mind on the track to greatness
but don't be alarmed when the next one begins
the checksum you're expecting to come
won't be recognized until the album ends
Track Name: Camel Jockey
[2/2/14, improv...w/ post-editing, meaning i'd improv a part, then realise i could do that part slightly better so i'd restart that part while keeping the 'tape' rolling. i mean obv. i've done this before, but i feel like to call it a pure improv when there were parts done over, even if it was you know, 2 seconds later, is well, not entirely true]

direction, help me find some
direction, i can't seem to get where i'm going
i don't understand why i can't find my camel
(i need) someone to help find directions
camel jockey camel jockey, i am absurd
help me find my camel
camel jockey, i need to kill because i can't think of anything better to do
will you do some things for me, run me some errands
find me the things i need, uh huh
it's dangerous to travel anywhere, it's so dangerous
it's dangerous to speak your mind it's dangerous you know it is
camel jockey, find my camel, camel jockey, race over the plains
the camel's in my brain, strain, pain, religious commandments
force me to kill and maim, because i'm on this fucking plain
it's hard to live when the motherfucking people keep dropping bombs on my head
and taking all my camels away, camels away
don't you do that to me, my property, property, yeah
but should i be allowed to own an animal such as a camel
animal such as a camel, i don't know
oh oh oh oh oh oh
i hate you, i hate everything you do, i hate you
i like to kill you just because you think other things than i do
i may or may not actually have a camel for you
suck my camel's dick, suck a dick, suck a dick
anyone gather round, tell me why i've found this camel lying in the ditch
lying in a ditch
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh oh-oh whaooh oh oh ohhhhhh
oh oooohwhaaaooww
i am feeling so blue
Track Name: Coon
stop calling me a coon, i'm not a motherfucking coon
i am the messiah
stop calling me a coon, i'm not a coon
i am the motherfucking messiah
i can save you all from the detriment, and the sentence that you've been sentenced to
i know you, i've been inside your shoes once or twice
it's not very nice to question my sincerity
no no, no no, no no
Track Name: Fuck Me Fuck You
still strokin' it, i can't be stopped
wearin' out my welcome with the lawyers and the cops
can't do nothin' without scrutiny
now i see you're lookin', you're lookin' at me
what the hell do you want, what have i done
i really don't know but i'm sure it was fun
i prob'ly got it on with yo bitch yeah
i'm gonna get it on 'til i'm dead, 'til i'm dead, aw
speaking of which, here's another fuckin' record for you
bring me a bitch, it's well known that i like to screw
cows go "moo", cats say "mew"
fuck me, fuck you
you can't stop me, you can't win, you can't control the power of the seven deadly sins
it's like fire, it's like ice, you know it's hot and it's cold and it's naughty and it's nice
a-rock rock y'all, a-hip hop y'all, sell your soul to the music for a lifetime of fun
it's really pure and obscure, and of that i'm sure
straight dope gives you hope, it's the disease and the cure
you get up, you get down, drive your car all around
you go back home and tell your friends what you found
the anthems of truth, the kind you can relate to
it's all good, no it's great, make no mistake
we take your mind and we'll never let it break
'til you get to the level of the high fidelity supersonic pantheon, ho
pitching a tent, in the seclusion of a troubled state of mind
paying your rent, i wouldn't count it as a favorite pastime
craving a screw, and i will get it long before i go bye-bye
getting a clue, maybe you'll get one before you die
sky is blue, i like a wave that's new
fuck me, fuck you
i'm a redneck, i'm a pain in your ass, a-whoa whoa oh
corporate america, you better run, i got a gun
i know you wanna talk to the press, but you're gonna have to get through ME first
i know you wanna talk to the press, cause i've been in your situation and you know i know that it hurts
we get it on, and it's hard as hell, the fountain of truth springin' up like a well
you can't compete when we take it to the street
you got one more chance to sidestep a sure defeat
unnatural disasters that nature will cause
the loss of life, and the breaking of laws, ah, oh god naw
fuck me fuck you
fuck me fuck you
fuck me fuck you
fuck me fuck you
Track Name: Choke
2/4/14...eh...choke something. speed manipulation was used here...obviously i don't have vibrato skills like that.
Track Name: Knifewielder
i'm gonna bore you now, as i descend from a rope into the crowd
sown are the seeds of hope, that is my plan
files are the crux of human knowledge, accessing all the stupid data
accent appalling fear, collect the checks
and stuff your head into a cardboard box
don't forget the combination on that foolproof lock
head for the nearest house that i have thus set aside to help us out
kind and attentive girls: here is your song
psych up the flirts for second guessing
cycle the priest-bots ever-blessing
bow down before my throne, cause i love you
you're the one i want to touch so soft
soon my spaceship will arrive to carry us aloft
i'm wielding a knife
stab, stab
Track Name: Available Vag (4G LTE)
2/6/14...4 girls lick the edge...IMPROV. suck my pre-ganglionic penis, Sprint. even puffed-up admirals approve of my dicking methods. I may at some time bother to transcribe the words to this.
Track Name: Keep Your City (Give Me Titty)
you can keep the city, just leave me the titty
you can keep your cities in tact
you can keep your cities, you can burn down every house in the city
you can have my titties, but you can't have my crack
you'll not be sniffin' my cracken, mcgregor
you can keep that city to yourself
because you're not the same ethnicity that i and you have different religious concerns
when i come to your house i expect massive pussy to be doled out
come on baby come on bitch get on the fuckin machine get down with a monkey smash thru a window drink lots of beer i'm gonna get you and put this shit in your ear it's good it's good it's really good
this song doesn't have a chorus so it ain't no good
you can keep your city just leave me some titty
you can have all your choruses and suck my wood
suck my FUCKING wood
SUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING WOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Track Name: Punkslut
sticking my dick in your face
cause you're a punkslut
Track Name: My Realm
i think that you're so cute, just lettin you know
i'm just here for all your loot, cause i'm a ho
i can't satisfy my all consuming need
i won't let you be my girl don't want you gettin too close to me
cause then you might see my realm, my hell
then you might feel unwell inside your shell
and then you're gonna need, professional help

i think about the world and all its woes
i contemplate my death and the paths i chose
if i'm causing you distress then i shall go
if you want me to undress just let me know
but then you might see my realm, my hell
and then you might feel unwell inside your shell
and then you're gonna need professional help
Track Name: Easter Egg
i could stare into your eyes forever
i only want to spend our lives together
climb into your soul and lose my self-control
so i wanna stay alive
runnin through your head like a rabbit
when i find my easter egg, i gotta have it
so dig what i'm into, hey baby i love you
no one can undo the strings attatched
cause now i've met my match, that's you

never wanted feelings if they're just for myself
don't wanna give 'em to nobody else
you are my love, and this is proof
now we'll see if you can handle the truth

we have the light of love to guide us
so let's leave our darkened past behind us
no cause to be afraid
cause baby we got it made
let's kick some ass tonight

i'll take the chance i'll take the test
take what you want and leave the rest
am i freakin you out, do i sound obsessed
do the words i sing make you touch your breast

give your love to me for eternity
Track Name: Open Sesame
i want to get attention, numerous devotion
but i know it's no use
the tragedy of laughter, we're all a bunch of actors
for the play of our love's reality safe and sound
locked away our true selves quiet as a mouse
now i can't afford it, all the shame and torment
that i thought i deserved in my youth
hope you brought some tissues
this one has some issues
pity me and all my 10,000 ways to deny
anything positive entrance to my life
pertinent to active faults responding to the casting call
no one will be the wiser
to judgments of a lonesome freak hanging on every word you speak
no one will be the wiser
to the code they can't decipher
ironically dispatched by such an urgent plea
pretend it's real, pretend it's all you are
pretend it's real, pretend it's all you came here for
if slavery is really all that you deserve
and prison has your best interest at heart
out of the forceps, into the jaws of death
out of the mouths of slaves onto the printing press
gaiety relaxant, shifting of the accent
time is short, burning up temper's fuse
straining our relation, bringing aggravation to the fore
raising whores, wealth of our need is unsung
political power flows from the barrel of a gun
pertinent to active faults, responding to the casting call
no one will be the wiser
the heads will roll, the bones will creak
you suffer as you learn to speak
no one will be the wiser
to oblivious reminders
of the turning the key inside her
open sesame
hoping to end this please
your life's not so worthless
you really don't deserve this
but still you pretend it's real, pretend it's all you are
pretend it's real, pretend it's all you came here for
if slavery is really all that you deserve
and prison has your best interest at heart
deception is an art
shut up and play your part
Track Name: Hog Wild
just some improv. i thought it'd be funny if i put this right after 'open sesame' since that song has no bass and this one only has bass lol
Track Name: Bad Scene
you test my patience, you're driving me nuts
just get the hell out of my face, and go lick some butts
i'm losing my mind i'm going insane
but you already knew that, but still you're tryin to play your stupid games
it boggles the mind that you could be so unkind
please stop hitting me with sticks, or i'm going to hit you with a brick
insight evaded, till up your rows
with fragrant hatred your garden grows
you're taking license, you're feeling some pride
i'm feelin frisky, let's take it outside
rock and roll is a power trip
i'm gonna knock you on the ground and bust your lip
consider your options, 1 2 and 3
it's highly unlikely that you're gonna beat me!
oh yeah, you should've known that i'm a badass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a badass motherfucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's right, toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gonna prove my strength to the general public
massive intensity coming down upon the ground
you hear the sound of mountains and the earth quaking
in fear at the imminent doom that's drawing near
Track Name: I Need a Dope Deal
save a little piece of love for me
chiropractics out of practice crack my back bitch
roaming like a roman tryin' to conquer your skin
i'm obnoxious i defy precautions to the letter of the law
open it up, i need a dope deal
so offended knees are bended i'm so sorry
cold and lonely got no homie and no home yeah
rest your head upon the isolation and you'll know just how i feel
open it up, i need a dope deal
fake ascension, rise up and greet sin
horrible delusions rock your socks off and criticize your plans
grumble grumble make me humble give me food if you please
energy release, welcoming the onslaught of peace
open eyes and smiling face, open thighs and warm embrace
reaching the conclusion that i need a new infusion of dna
hollow trees will catch the breeze and amplify how
many years now it appears i might as well die
forment acclimation for the vent of my frustration at you all
open it up, i need a dope deal
Track Name: Pride of the Yankees
damn damn damn
she speaks about the past
tatsuma always said a ball is a big blast
do you realise how powerful the US military is?
pride of the yankees i am, i'm alone, this is my home
this is the greatest nation ever, our sports, tv, and weather
we think that you're ok, but the things you say are a little bit GAY
we got him we don't need you
there's only so many people we can afford to pay, you understand
crawling back to where i came from
once upon a time i was quite dumb
feeling like i need a brand new lover
my hot rod heart is burning rubber
i'll let you in my ass if you give me a baseball contract
pride of the yankees i am, i'm alone, this is my home
pride of the yankees i am, call me on my cell phone
call me on the phone, i'm preparing to take that bone
we're living in a society here, no soup for you
well well what have we here, it's another dear, another little dear
die die die die die die die
pride of the yankees i am
Track Name: Editor's Pick
Track Name: Horse Peen
i could do with some peen
with a little horse peen
if you know what i mean

you look inside my head you dont know what you'll find
could be a wealth of knowledge but the tapes you'll have to rewind
i've given up on girls to save me, my dealings with them fill me with remorse
so now i'd rather be filled by the penis of a horse

i could do with some peen
with a little horse peen
if you know what i mean

you'll cycle through responses and come up with what you think is best
you've got the answers and the questions never let you rest
so take it upon yourself to set the world to right
and judge judge judge judge judge judge judge and fight fight fight fight fight
Track Name: Day of Fear
Track Name: Call My Ass
call my ass call my ass call my ass
i don't care what time of day just do it fast
there's a place in my brain that contains
an ever-present need to set the world in flames
you can tell me to fuck off or that you love me so
you can tell me what's on your mind
but whatever it is i really want to know
call my ass...we can drink some earl grey tea from the proper glass
call my ass in the mornin' or in the night
if you treat me good or bad, it's quite alright
you can tell me that i'm buggin' you and that you need your space
you can yell and scream and throw a fit and put me in my place
call my ass, one time, call my ass, two time
call my ass, drop a dime, just call my ass, squeeze a lime
just not in my eye
the formation of silent unknown thoughts will make you
the contemplation of endless bullshit will convince you
the indecision to act upon your wishes will influence you
the power of jesus christ will undoubtedly force you to comply
it forces you to comply, to stab me in the eye
but that's one directive you can ignore from up on high
you don't have to follow all his orders
call my ass
Track Name: Hit Me with a Brick
Track Name: Head Grease
amanda works all day in a high volume kitchen
and when she gets home she needs tension release
all the dorks on netphoria are bitchin'
cause their ceaseless egomania won't give them any peace
well that's ok, it's mighty fine, cause baby you'll soon discover
they're waiting so patiently in an endless line
meanwhile i've already got this covered

so many years i've been wallowing, in isolation and constant shame
failed to cultivate a following, to earn my keep and make my name
i'm always too soon or too late, but still i could be spared a most cruel fate
remove the hat, it's my turn at bat, you're going to feel grrreeeat

i want to lick your head grease
there's nothing else that would please me more
than to smell and taste that magnificent glaze
like a junkie that's looking to score
i want to lick your head grease
a passion so intense, it's my quirk
unwrap your soul, relinquish control
and let me put my tongue to work

i ponder the root of humanity's pain
centuries of more suffering than one's memory should contain
but believe it or not, within ourselves we have the ability
to create a utopia filled with all we shall ever need
but the earth could be struck by an asteroid
and be cast into darkness until who knows when
before that takes place i will cast off into space
to a moon base that has a nice kitchen

cause i want to...
Track Name: Killing, Breeding, and Preaching
uh, yeah
Track Name: Ambivalent Homicide of the Official Morrissey Camel
Track Name: I Am a Mashed Potato
i wandered in the wilderness for oh so many years
searching for a lover, but all i got were tears
apologize to the foam, discrimination on the phone
invert electrocution for the pervert elocution
fancy parameters abundance of stars
end-zone cheers spurn the causal reluctance
interior plush, blinking blinkers on my fingers
i can heal your emotional pain

i am a mashed potato, a benevolent tornado
eat me and get swept up, hold on to your halo
ever so lazy, your insults do not faze me
so climb into the cockpit and let yourself go

backlog mans the eccentric
lying conjecture recounts the future
rescued from beneath the ravaged fort
the temperature drops in the witches' court
inkblots await 'neath asian wood
eat your vegetables cause they taste really goooood

garble the pronunciation think about yourself
and what you could be if you tried
cousins coming out of the woodwork
lecture me but don't you think too hard
the protocol designed along parallel lines
to fascinate absurdity
can you speak a little louder it's hard to hear my dear
am i making it clear that i want you near and i have some fear
cause i'm kind of weird and i need to be sheared like a sheep

you hear me peep, i drive a jeep, i like to leap and go meep meep
to the faithful lesson-mongers
who inhabit the dark recesses of academia
forthwith i shall balance economics
and ride the coattails til night begs to differ
feel my romance purr, notable as a peripheral slur
distract yourself from the malicious ram
my intentions are pure like the son of man
you're much too accustomed to attentive deference
take heed to my warning and properly site the reference
concentrate on breath, the rhythm and the heft
the cold thoughtless judgments of which i am bereft
assemble the flock of battle ducks
relish in the finding of added fucks
giving away the excess stuff
sick with worry cause we care too much
humanity is really cool
i'd like to save it but alas i am a fool

afforded by the endless asphalt parody
courted by the surly throngs of hilarity
recalcitrant to the throne, humiliated and alone
acceptance and truth, no belief without proof
party up and disco down trees are green and dirt is brown
meerkat is a noun, be careful that you don't drown
in the sea of travesty, in the pool of mediocrity
in the galaxy of nothing, the vacuum of my heart
there's nothing at all in the galaxy of nothing
Track Name: Eat the Cake
who cares
Track Name: Matt Sams
i will bust you up sams
Track Name: My Dick Don't Work
[actually it does work, it is pretty small though]
Track Name: Button-esque
if life sinks into remorse like a foundering ship at sea
and hot coals become your bed or the ground beneath your feet
then why not rely on me for guidance out of the storm
when i hold you in my arms i'm enlightened like never before
the shame and the fear envelop you, the honor is to hurt
but to me you're as beautiful as the buttons on your shirt
the words carry their intent but the meaning is lost on me
if all goes as planned we will fail most miserably
Track Name: Al-Jazeero
AL is a gal who's also my pal
she cooks w/ t-fal, and wants to kill me like HAL
from 2001, that wouldn't be fun
she likes to walk but not run, she's celibate like a nun
i would've thought you'd make tips if you worked at a starbucks
if you have complaints you can say it a little louder then get fucked
now i'll go off to tangents aloft
laments of a reject, my motives are suspect
the pain is severe, the lies are sincere
i'll need a lot more beer if i can't get out of here
i would've done most anything that wasn't too absurd
make sure you've got anti-freeze cause i don't want this hot rod heart to burn
you're the forest i would burn through, the furthest i would drive to
it's the penance i'm assigned to, i've been meaning to remind you
i'm annoying when i bite you, with some insults meant to slight you
i'm too polite to fight you, but like chris martin, i'll ignite you
ouch ouch
Track Name: Living in the Shadows
if your life has torn you apart, when you want love i'll never be too far
stuff a corn cob into your face, when you got probs, sweetie just state your case
and the hate will crumble away, and the dirt will wash off when you bathe
in the surplus gallant repose, that'll make us take off all of our clothes
and be happy ever you will, we'll be so tight out of the spotlight
in the shadows, we got sth to prove
living in the shadows, i wanna make love to you
when you get bored give me a call, we can meet up anywhere but the mall
cause i hate malls particularly, i would much rather meet in a dark alley
where the cool breeze blows in between your vagina and my erect pee pee
it's fantastic and it's a must that we give in to rampant obscene butt lust
in the shadows, we got sth to prove
living in the shadows, i wanna make love to you
help me fulfill your fantasy
if you feel like killing yourself, just remember you can get by with help
from a sex fiend called brandon e.
i will let you suck and get fucked by me
i'm addicted to aspartame, it's no wonder nothing is quite the same
it allows me to focus my mind, so i can concentrate on showing you a real good time
in the shadows, we got sth to prove
living in the shadows, i wanna make love to you
Track Name: PaciFIST
[thanks to the Vampire Court of Austin for the "i simply..do not..care" thing]

i'm a pacifist, there's so much power you can't resist
i'm a pacifist, now you're gettin the gist
i'm a pacifist, there's so much power in the slightest grip
i'm a pacifist, you're never quite sure if you're on my list
cause i won't tell, if everything's not swell, and i want you to go to hell
and DIE
i'm a pacifist
but i'm prone to seizures and violent fits
if you keep yanking my chain
i will put a hollow point in your fucking brain
cause life's not fair
and i simply ...do not...care
and my vacant stare
will chill you to the bone
you'll never be alone
cause the horror of my existence will haunt you
for the rest of your days
i know this makes you so amazed
Track Name: Nurse Don't Want Cleaner, Will Accept Miscellaneous Japanese
nurse don't want cleaner, will accept miscellaneous japanese
my last dream i recall...i had to free these 3 naked chicks that were tied up in an apt somewhere. after they left i rigged up some sort of explosive and blew the place sky high. i guess i was a cop cause my superior was on my case, and i was like yeah whatever this is my job, freeing whores and blowing shit up.
you want pizza? you couldn't handle the pizza. but you could definitely go eat the pizza wheneverz
it's a good thing you aren't an addict cause if you were and you weren't japanese there would be a problem with this nurse
cause that's all that she wants and that's all that she'll get from me
i remember what she got before, yeah yeah yeah rock rock rock and ro-ee-ooll uhh
i'm totally gonna get stoned and eat your pizza, are you receiving, do you understand how much fucking pot i can smoke? it's like a lot. it's a fuckton. i am unstoppable, some ppl think they can smoke this shit, then they meet me and they're undoubtedly impressed cause i'm the best oh uh ow uih huhuhuhuh
nurse don't want cleaner...
sex like a good breakfast is what i need
i don't want to clean this house anymore, i am a japanese
all i ever do is clean, for some reason that's the way i was brought up and stuff, that's right
Track Name: Gettin' in Some Practice (Pussy Practice)
Track Name: Clovis Slept
heavenly marvels and amateur warbles, water in your veins
steady the crystal and polish the pistol, time to kill the pain
she took the pills and she drank the wine
nothing could make her fall in line
but all she had to do was listen to me whine, and then clovis slept

my effort is spent, result is self-fulfilled
cry only for me and no insult to be willed
rephrasing terror's amity salute in spite
abet the ambiguous loyalty bite
enough with this instinct-afforded mutation
i'm drowning in the gelatin
losing patience you freed, inert inherent reprieve
arid lifeless disease, i don't wanna be numb
i'll resolve the loose ends muddle dust and descend
i can gauge the expense i can plague you with lust
unattractive retraction is the price of your scorn
love is naked, and requires no candor
no cause no effect no blame and no name
foundation, walls, roof, shingles, threshold and frame
the buildings are stationed in studied stoic stature
the paint may be new but the concrete is fractured
so pay it no mind just continue respect
and life will go on as long as the house is erect
lighten up in the ambered catacomb
and get some sleep tonight

fear of the she-wolf has got me in hiding
might as well have sex
i'm taking a shuttle first thing in the morning
the drugs had no effect
we paid the dues of a life unkind
nothing could make us fall in line
the forest is green and so is the cunt cream
i have no regrets

rock and roll is here to stay
rock and roll won't go away
Track Name: I Wanna Help
Track Name: I Like Planets
i like planets, i like planets
i like oceans, i like cities
good enough for me
global warming, terraforming
dance the night away
wake me up in a few hundred years
cause there's nothing to do today
gutted truth op, make up the ritual
you can't help me, fossil merchants
head out west to find the train full of secrets
now we can make certain that we
have the equipment required to make a stand
luminous eyes upon me in lunar solace
i barely recognized you with so much damage
a foreign tongue, appalling truce
never gain the light of simple truth
their thoughts were warm but misinformed
that is not the case with me and you
take my feelings, wave that wand
take me to a cave that was impervious to mind control techniques
the water on this world can be absorbed
exchanged for something far more interesting
that will most certainly facilitate the
onslaught of my new and improved civilization
scarlet sentries guarding the clock pulse
move in silence gliding transport
now it's too late to call for backup
access granted, total system failure
it's never enough to just live
you have to serve a purpose, preferably your own
that's all i have now
if you would come with me
then we should go now
Track Name: Format B:\
late glows the rosy spurt, addict-ordered manic thirst
stop it now the relief has strangled me
i bowed as the soldier sprung
practice makes perfection
strap me down and erase my memory

the cold hard truth is a drag
and i live in circles of regret and apprehension, and system lag
coasting through the stars in uneventful days
many more will come
chances lost along the way

chocolate for consumption lust
fairway fudged the skeptic cusp
let it fly in the foreplay of anonymity
outsource disappointment's tase
by an onslaught of calculated praise
hold me close and engage my amity

exercise courage to trust me completely
concerto commences and there's still plenty of time to beat me
if ever you feel i've been wrong
in anything i've said, conclusions aren't set in stone

cable to cable, fable to fable, table to table
extend the surface area
direct effect analogies, and elevated apologies
keeping time like clocks and trees
giving up is a breeze
Track Name: Gutter Trash
heal the places that you hurt
feel the grace of peace and love
haven't we begun to invent a proper term
trash is blowing in the street
plastic bags of pure deceit
isn't it real yet, can we reveal yet
when can we throw away the presents of the past
braver than facing fear
panic strikes the ones we hold dear
fascinating judgments that defer
to advancing madness as it were
iron socks of symmetry, fundamental puppetry
rock me like a parakeet tonite
silver starlight beaming down
stamp my papers so i can get the hell out of this town
it's an evasion, it's an evasion, of my obligation, yow!
Track Name: Retreat
retreat, fear the army of bats and the rampant random applicants
who boggle profit's laboratory
imported by way of the metal frames that glide in seamless motion
filled with luggage and names
brush my servitude, teach me to love, i see the cities below
and the aliens above
scarcity of cotton leads to nakedness and contests
marked by rituals and comics so deceptive to the eye
muffins in stereo held against your ears
the cold regrets of conduct i've been keeping up for years
wasting away in an isolated maze of loathing and distrust
and the purest adoration
shifting like a cop car in an alley, the umbrellas hide the faces
the composers are so boring when they try to solve the cases
just leave that to detectives and get back to your drugs
you're a piece of gutter trash who's in need of more than hugs
money would be nice, within a house of relevance
and truthful companions who won't judge me cause i'm fucked in the head
shame and apathy loathing and greed
pass the salt and the grease and the alcohol pretty please
fear is inherent to my construction
will you accept all of my endless malfunctions
rise to your feet, walk out the door, walk down a street and kill a few whores
look in my eyes i've got the purest heart in a city of doubt and sin
and pain that never ends
it keeps going it keeps moving it keeps planning your demise
i like to stare straight into the eyes of a demon of a demon
rock and roll is something to do, i like it, how bout you
we can meet anytime any place i can look at you
and you can slap me in the face yeah
i like to sing lots of lyrics, i don't really have anything else to say
except listen to my songs and spend money on me and
i will attempt to make you happy with art
cause that's what this is, you know what i'm talkin about
you can feel my artistry in action
take a minute to contemplate your existence
and the things you think you want out of life
and jump off a cliff and kill yourself cause that's the only solution which is right
i'm not responsible for your actions, i'm just providing you with an out
it could be your salvation it can be an end to your doubt
feel the force of the rock as it pounds in your head
i'm a god amongst men, i have no why, where, or when
i'm immortal and i kill cause that's what immortals do
we exist in 3 dimensions but we think in 2
follow me to your destruction cause you know it's the best
this world is a failure and humanity's a pest
that needs to be exterminated right here right now
by the most efficient means that the law will allow
drink yourself into oblivion and blame it on me
cause i'm the one who's here to help you fade into obscurity
lock and load, hit the road, be another useless troll
and the riches you will reap will be far greater than gold
Track Name: Eco-tools
find a reason to question your beliefs
find a reason to put an end to griefs
find a reason to much upon some leafs
find a reason to brush my fucking teeth
i got my eco-tools, they help me scrub myself
i got my eco-tools, they help me love myself
find a reason to take on the whole world
find a reason to impress lots of girls
find a reason to get these songs online
find a reason to waste a lot of time
i got my eco-tools, they help me wash off coal
i got my eco-tools, they help me cleanse my soul
Track Name: Kick in the Head
this is one of those improvs that probably shouldn't be released but i'm way behind on this project and i'm tired.
Track Name: Let You Die
kill your self just because
you never knew what it was
and you rely on a name, to bring you fame yeh
you believed what was taught
truth and beauty were never sought
so i'll ignore your pride
and go for a ride
gonna let you die, let you die
you don't give a damn about me
gonna make you see, if you fuck with me
bitch i'll run you over in my car
people are worth more than gold
not property to be sold
and i reject this
keep your worth to yourself
elevate greed and wealth
i'll give you all the time you need
to watch the innocent bleed
i'm gonna let you die, let you die
you don't give a damn about me
gonna make you see if you fuck with me
bitch i'll run you over in my car
you ain't on my side
Track Name: Stupid
stupid, the world's getting kind of stupid
and i'm getting kind of dumb
improving your life is maybe a good thing to do
try not to die try not to tell people what they can and can't do
just like i'm not doing now, like i said it's dumb
you can't improve the dumb without taking out the dumb
while being dumb yourself
it's a paradox that's pissing me off
get it through your head that i don't give a motherfucking shit
i just want to control you and make you act right
so stop acting like fucking retards
and get your shit together
before i find a way to invent faster than light travel
and get the fuck away from this fucked up place
fucked up world
all the fucked up boys fucking up with the fucked up girls
it's really dumb, it needs to stop
lick my nuts, suck my cock
cause i'm stupid
Track Name: It Rocks My Nuts
i think you're great, i think you're fine
i want to get with you and waste some time
i think you're good, i think you're neat
the addition of you makes my life complete
it rocks my nuts, it rocks my nuts
everything you do really rocks my nuts
i feel so good, i feel so bad
i'm floating on the ocean cause i'm nutso mad
i read those words, i scratch them out
i want to let you know what i'm all about
it rocks my nuts, it rocks my nuts
everything you do really rocks my nuts
it does, just cause, you were, i was
we kill, we fight, it's on, tonight
it rocks my nuts, it rocks my nuts
everything you do really rocks my nuts
Track Name: No (Flag a Ride)
originally track 83 was "hangin' out the door". i wanted to use that as the opening track for the Peter Pariah album, then changed my mind and tossed it on n*sane, then changed my mind back again so i stuck this random FL track here in its stead.
Track Name: (I'm the) Devil
Track Name: Feel Sorry for Me (Or I'll Kill You)
who cares
Track Name: Car-grill Firebrand
Track Name: Depth
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaze at yr shoooooeoeeeeoeoeoes
Track Name: Sayonara
Track Name: Primates
there aren't any
Track Name: Fag
Track Name: Leave It Alone
face the night, feel the strain
pay the price, love in vain
may you speak, may you hear
may i speak without fear
call you up on the phone
i'm not well, leave it alone
that's great, that's fine
i'm losing my mind

hurry up, calm down
there's no need to make a sound
crazy thoughts making me freak
don't give in to the urge to speak
no voice, no choice
my hot rod heart is now a flaming rolls royce
it's good, it's real funky
i'm flipping out like a chinese monkey
leave it alone
Track Name: You Can't Resist My Style
[i can't resist putting substandard tracks on this album]
Track Name: Listening (L'ing)
[lyrics written in 1994, lol, mostly. slightly revised]

the deed runs backwards, brackets need us
you talk to me, but i'm not listening at all
the sweetest sound that captures me
is pouring out of all i see
peace be with you
if that's to be, you'll let me know immediately
when you're falling to the ground
i'll walk around and figure out what you found
i'm unclear as to why you can't stay away
from the danger ever lying in wait
and if i knew that you were still around you know i would surely come your way
when it's all said and done, i will still have a few more things to say
why can't you find some other guy to help you
why won't you find another guy to kill you
the wind it speaks lazily through the air
and then you'll go away i know not where
but you'll never find a bit of peace
until you give up taking leave cause you are the biggest freak i've ever seen
it's always the same with you and your pain i have to listen to again
why can't you find some other guy just make me keep on listening
again and again, i don't wanna hear this shit anymore
so go on and on with your searching and tell me if you find something
why can't you find another guy
maybe then you'll find another guy
but write, don't forget to write to me
and then you'll be mine, just say you'll write to me
and then you will be mine
and then you'll find the final guy-y-y-y-y
then finally i'll say goodbye
it's all over now, for you, la di da da daaaa
technicolor book cover, be my lover, go away
i'm not listening to you! no no!
Track Name: Power Up (Counsel Me)
[lyrics mostly written in 1994]

keep plugging that power
power up if you feel like doing that
keep plugging the power
power up for the meaningful fight

a time warp lights a fuse
while none aim to amuse
mainly to confuse
for now we have to choose
a path to ensure us not to lose

jesus saves, turbulence, past/future breaking point
distortion of the past leaves us with a terrible present
that's opening presently oh noes

finding new regrets in what we did before
now we've let emotions rule the area restored
but we have to realize the great mistake we've made
and fix the problem with a plan to somehow break the blade
and stop the needless trade so hurtful in its ways
when a timeless wire frays, no greedy person stays
but all will pass away if pattern doesn't change
good reason to be afraid, no time that's left to waste

i love you all the more when you love me back each day
i hope for more of the change, so we can have no more to wait
love is on the rise, blessings in disguise
won't you recognize the end result prize
we could be together, trying to live forever
flying oh so high, another ring to pry
but not of you and me, no more can i release
my love is on a steady increase
so counsel me
and the fuse can be extinguished permanently
no modern psychology
god is the answer!
keep plugging that power
power up if you feel like doing that
keep plugging the power
power up for the meaningful night
it's a meaningful night
Track Name: Still Not Done with My Rampage
[1999 jambox recording from the same tape as "can't stay in a cage"]

still not done with my rampage
still not done with my fight
still not done with my rampage
i got a lot more people to kill tonight
still not done with my rampage
still not done with my fight
still not done with my rampage
wanna get it on with some fine chicks on the lawn
when you're waiting for me in your waiting place
rampage, i'm not done with my fight
still not done with my rampage
still not done with my fight
ah when you say that i'm stupid what do you really mean
cause when you say it makes me bad inside
i don't sing very well i know it's true
and you can tell me all the time
never givin it up never givin a fuck
holmes holmes holmes fuckin holmes
got it
Track Name: People Who Have Shoes
[another 99 jambox recording from that same tape]
Track Name: Get Off My Plane
uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. there's a program called paulstretch which makes everything you throw into it sound all ethereal druggy shoegazey. idk it's kinda cool i guess. this was a really bad improv acoustic song so i threw it into the paulstretch and this is what happened.
Track Name: I'm the Only One Who Can Fuck
i cannot do as i'm bid, but you must do as you're bid
i'm the only one who can fuck
it's time to believe in something that you have been told
it's been coming down for a long time now
and it's about to arrive, the only thing you can surmise is that
i've taken control of every part of your life
and i will command you to do my bidding
i can fuck, i'm allowed, to screw
i like to screw i like to screw
i wanna screw you, i'm gonna screw you
Track Name: I'm on Your Side
save your strength for all the ones who hate you
save me from the ones who'd see me fall
i won't give you what you want
save me from the things you told me all those years ago
save your strength for all the ones who hate you
the one's who'll see you burn and crumble into dust
i'm not one of these, you know it to be true
i love you
i don't want to kill you, i'm not one of them
i'm on your side
Track Name: You're All a Bunch of Fucking Slaves
[title taken from the famous jim morrison live rant]